I CAN'T WAIT!

Some things that I CAN'T WAIT to happen!

I CAN'T WAIT... until Phen gets back from NY! She's had a rough trip but I hope there were some happy and exciting moments too! I just really want to see her and help her be happier again! I miss her smiling face! Not to mention her adorable outfits!

I CAN'T WAIT... for 37 days to go by. Then I will be with Reagan again! I laid in bed for a whole hour this morning hugging my bear (I just call him Marine Bear... cause I can't think of a name... my Dad thinks I should call him... Little Corporal or Jarhead (>w<).... I'm like... No.) tight and convinced that if I moved or opened my eyes, the wonderful feeling that I was imagining/half convinced was real... as him beside me would go away... and when I did open my eyes... yeah it went away. Needless to say breakfast was lonely! I CAN'T WAIT... to hear and see Reagan laugh again! It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside he rarely laughs like... really laughs... I miss him soo bad it hurts! And it was funny he was like "Yesterday I got back from dinner and was sitting at my computor and almost added Skype cause I wanted to see you!" And I was like "WHY DIDN'T YOU! STUPID!!" He just laughed! I've been trying to get him to add it since like April! (>x<)

I CAN'T WAIT... to lose another clothing size!! My midsection is actually beginning to look decent... but lately I've been lax in watching what I eat! MUST be more careful!

I CAN'T WAIT... to go back to university! I miss everyone sooo much! I'm so excited for Japanese... and hopefully I can start tea ceremony lessons in the winter! I still need to talk to Beecken-sensei and Mori-sensei about it! Would anyone like to take up tea ceremony with me?!

I CAN'T WAIT... to find out if Manami can stay in the US for a little longer and live with me for part of Christmas break!

I CAN'T WAIT... to see if our trip to San Fran and the new BTSSB store will be chill for the winter time... or if we may have to wait till Spring Break... ohh new Spring prints riight? Hmm we shall see!

And in general I CAN'T WAIT for the end of summer to be here!

Seven Random Things About Me!

I was just tagged by MagnificentDebra and so now it's my turn! I also want to thank her for her message today reminding me to stop being soo negative! It's a hard habit that I'm slowly beginning to break!

Whew Seven things... This is going to be a bit harder then I thought...

1. I don't eat green candies: I don't know why and it doesn't matter the flavor or variety... M&Ms, Skittles, Jolly Ranchers... Jelly Beans... if its green I don't touch it. But I love veggies.... hmmm

















2. On that's same note: I eat M&Ms in a very precise order.... and yes I know they all taste the same. First Blue, then Red, followed by Yellow, occsasionally Brown... and never the Green!


















3. I love mittens... you know the ones with the strings on them that you can put through your coat sleeves so you never loose them?! Yeah those! I wish I had a pair that fit me, when I was little I had a pair that looked like bunnies.... had ears and everything!


















4. I am a music lover! (In case you all didn't know!) My computer currently has over 17GB of music (which is literally THOUSANDS of songs) My current shuffle list has had, Cher, CATS, Richard Tam, Justin Lou, Arashi, Mozart, Poe, Science of Sleep Soundtrack, Dir en Grey, Malice Mizer(Japanese Heavy Metal), and Shahrukh Khan (Bollywood)... amoung other artists! WHEW! (Sample of the hard copy selection)

5. I think my feet are my best feature! I find them small, elegant and dainty... at least I think so... Reagan just thinks they are "Friggin' freezin! Put some socks on babe!" I also take care of them more then is probably needed...
And I even wear shoes like these... so they undergo torture sometimes... thanks feet!

6. I have a craving... like my Grandmother, for the art of embroidery! I love how lovely and delicate it looks, plus it gives me something to focus on when I'm upset or bored out of my mind. My current project is a pillow case... the work is slow but worth it

7. Oooh last fact: Sometimes when no one is looking... or even when they are I like to walk around my house in a tiara... or go to the grocery store in one... just because I can! It satisfies the total princess in me!

AND SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO! PHEN'S!!! I TAG YOU!! (Chances are you will do this on LJ... buut... WOO!)

JONAS BROTHERS WORLD TOUR REPORT

JONAS BROTHERS WORLD TOUR REPORT: THE MORNING AFTER
Yes I’m up surprisingly early for having been up until almost 1am last night… or rather this morning, but for some reason I just couldn’t stay asleep any longer. Anyway so onto the good stuff!
Last night I went to the Pepsi Center in Denver for the Jonas Brothers World Tour Performance! Let me say it was just spectacular, so much so that the thousands of screaming pre-teens didn’t put a damper on my mood (Unless you count the ringing in my ears this morning). So… here we go! And be fore warned this is gonna a be a long post!

TRANSPORTATION TO VENUE:
Like many of my fellow fans I opted for Denver’s light rail system to get me to and from the concert, for $4.50 I went from Lincoln Ave. to like literally the Pepsi Center’s front gate! That was really awesome! It was fast and easy and I didn’t have to pay $22 to park at the venue! WOOT WOOT! Also there were some really sweet younger girls that I talked to on the ride up! If you know I always take my plushies to every concert, and on the ride to the venue I let the girls look at them… granted it turned into a bit of bicker as two sisters argued as to who got to hold Nick the longest! (>o<) But it was fun for everyone none the less and I received many compliments on the dolls again.

PRE-CONCERT
Upon arrival my first mission was to sign the JB Tour bus as per tradition, however in order to do it this time… I had to have a guy lift me up on his shoulders, but he didn’t mind, I had let his little sister borrow my Sharpie and he was lifting his younger sister and was like “Since you’re not real tall you want me lift you too?” And I (Standing on my tiptoes and with barely a blank space in sight) was like… “Sure, I guess!” And did I mention he was like friggin’ huge! Turns out he’s in the Army. XDDD So I signed for me and my sister (who couldn’t go) on the golden logo! WOO!! After that it was straight to the merch table where I bought my tour shirt… I thought about buying a program but decided against it because I could get the scans from CUF or someone else later for free. Then it was line standing… I met a few friends and fellow fans from high school and college… however most of them had floor seats ‘cause they are TOTALLY obsessed, versus my seats in the lower deck… which were still awesome seats! Even though I sat in the wrong section for the opening acts (>x<)!

OPENING ACTS:
Okay so I have a bit of beef with this as I’m sure you’ve heard me rant that the WONDERGIRLS were joining the tour three days after my show! I hopefully will find a recording of them performing! I’d love to see it! But despite that Honor Society was really good; I think I may buy their CD sometime. They kept their set short and sweet which was great, and while they could have had a little more stage energy they were good! I felt a little bad because the arena was barely half full when they started and every opening band with talent deserves a full house to at least clap for them. It’s hard to open for a superband, ‘cause you know that no one is really there to see you. The other opening act was Jordan Sparks… who to be honest I could really care less about… and I think her wardrobe designer was on vacation on this tour. As a curvy woman she really should have stayed away from the outfits she wore. A strapless flapper mini and a mermaid cut full length gown, neither were flattering for her body… such as her thighs, chest, and backside. Aside from that distraction she sung well and once again the set list was short, which was nice cause her guitar player…. well sucked.

Now for the important part….

THE CONCERT!!!!!!!
Stage Setup: There was an elevated center stage that was constantly rotating, like on a Lazy Susan and the center that could be raised and lowered when needed, and two side stages… all were circular. One end had a crane that put them out over the audience and the other had a platform that raised them up many feet in the air, as well as having water effects later in the show.

Setlist: As best as I can remember, I always forget to write it down. And it’s not in order… sorry.
Paranoid
Fly With Me
Poison Ivy
Much Better
Black Keys
A Little Bit Longer
(Cover) Sweet Caroline
Turn Right
Live to Party
BB Good
Burnin’ Up
Lovebug
S.O.S
Hold On
Gotta Find You
Year 3000
That’s Just The Way We Roll
When You Look Me In The Eyes
Battlefield(?) w/ Jordan Sparks

SOME AWESOME THINGS THEY DID:
-As always they have the interactive texting boards, but I was sad that they didn’t have a fun pre intro piece like they did for Burnin’ Up Tour cause that was hilarious!

-They had an intermission (probably so Nick could rest a bit I’m sure a show takes soo much out of him) and during it they showed some of their YouTube clips. Such as, The Nick Jonas Show Ep. 1: Anger Management, JB meets the Queen, and Joe Jonas dancing to “Single Ladies”. So that was really funny!

-As always during A Little Bit Longer Nick talked about his battle with Diabetes and the opportunities he’s had to support research and about his charity to help children with diabetes, that portion of the show always makes me tear up a little bit.

-I forget what song it was for but at one point a portion of the stage flipped over into a trampoline and it was awesome to see the boys do tricks during the bridge, and I swear Joe was gonna eat it when he jumped over his mic stand! So that was awesome!

-During Live to Party they were raised out over the audience and sprayed water over the crowd.

- Probably my favorite part of the show was when they performed Lovebug. Not only do I love this song… but well it was just epic. The stage was quiet and empty and then on the end where my seats were Kevin popped up through a trapdoor dressed in a very “Singin’ In The Rain” outfit, umbrella and trench coat. He did a little dance and then snapped his fingers and it started raining on that side of the stage! SO SWEET! Then during Lovebug they stood on that side and played while it rained in shapes… yes shapes around them! Like hearts, and swirls, and even their name in water! It was pretty much the coolest things I’ve ever seen! I’m soo upset that my camera died before this song! But I still got a lot of good pics. Thank you modern concert technology!

FINAL NOTES:
All in all I would say that it was totally awesome show!! The Jonas Brothers always have a ton of energy for their shows and give it their all, so I give it a 9/10 (no one is perfect!) It was definitely worth the money I paid, and even though many portions of the concert I was on my own I had a SUPER AWESOME time! And thanks to Meredith my sis for letting me text her in near hysterics telling her what was going on but not having a good enough phone to take pics for her!

And if you’d like to view all 195 photos that turned out decent check my Photobucket account... and I will post an edit with the link when my PB stops acting like a retard!

Otherwise there is a synopsis on my facebook here: It should be publichttp://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&suggest&note_id=121828950624#/album.php?aid=103629&id=678686930

PS: REAGAN GOT MY PACKAGE TODAY! I mailed him some homemade sugar cookies decorated for the 4th (early cause he's going home for then) and a letter! And he went to pick up mail today and then he set me a picture of him opening the box! I hope he remembers to share! LOL!

First Day of Work!

So I finally got to sink my hands back into the Rat Race today! It felt great to work again! The Renaissance Festival is REALLY fun so far and it's pretty easy work! I don't know what I was so worried about!

It wasn't too hot and I got to smell fresh coffee and pastries all day! And wear a costume! WOO!!

**I saw a lolita at the Fair today... wearing the Moi Meme Moitie JSK (jumper skirt) that I WANT the most!!!! And I was thinking like OMFG! I can't believe you are wearing THAT outfit to a dusty place like this! I nearly cried! One because it was beautiful to see and two because she doesn't deserve to wear that JSK if she is going to mistreat it! (Its like nearly 400 USD now!)

Anyway!

Good day, my shoulder hurts a bit and my tummy is complaining but that's just my organs moving back into place from the corset... eww I know... I also made $26 in tips! YAY!!!! That pays for the offbrand skirt that I ordered just yesterday!!


Ja mata mina-san!!!

YATA!

Despite having Reagan mildly annoyed at me (grumpy pants), my mother returning home, and only managing to get like three hours of sleep I am rather happy today!

This is because I heard from my host sister Manami today! I have missed her soo much since I met her in 2006 in Japan and it is hard for us to reach each other because we are soo busy! However today in her email she said that she is coming to the states for study in August! YAY!! She will be in Reno, Nevada... anyone up for a road trip??? Hmm?! Otherwise I hope that I can see her or she can come stay with me on a break or something! That would be soo cool! And now she has a Facebook! YAY! So we can hopefully talk more frequently!

Well that's it for now I think I'm gonna get some lunch!

Ja mata!

THANK YOU!

As I posted yesterday things have been a wee bit on the difficult side. As I told Danielle today I think I was just having one of my bad days... and things are bound to get better! But I can't thank you my dear friends enough for your support! I'm so happy that I can come to you even if it is just me venting my paranoia.

I also wanted to post one of the many, very supportive messages that my USMC Girlfriend support group posted on my message... I never realized how big the hearts of other women can be!

"Hi Lindsey,
I know how you feel...but are you sure your not over reacting or taking it
completely the wrong way? Maybe he meant that he Misses you and want his
daily call with you because he misses you so much and that's why he HAD to
call you and not that you are on any to do list....maybe he was passing you around on the phone cause he is proud of you and it was more of a "Here, I'll grace you with a talk to my hot and cool girlfriend" than "Talk to my girlfriend, I don't want to so you do it" kinda goofy guy thing?

By now I hope you have been able to talk to him and that it was a better conversation. Personally, if it continued I'd tell him how you feel when he passes you around on the phone. And maybe you guys should talk every other day (if you are talking every day now, that is), so you have something to talk about. I have found myself, that on the rare occasions my marine and I don't talk one day, the next day's call is much longer and tends to have better quality.

Last but not least: if the case is (which I don't think it is) that he
is repetadly only calling you cause he is obligated and doesn't REALLY
want to, then it's his loss. You are a great strong girl and any man would be LUCKY to have you. And if he can't be respectful to you and make sure your needs are met (when USMC allows for it) as much as he can while you are seperated, although you are faitfully sitting at home and waiting for him and encourage him, then he doesn't deserve you! But I dont think that's the case :)

Maybe he is stressed or for some reason needed to be cool infront of the other boys. Every so often my man will be distracted and have stuff going on with his roomies while we talk. I would imagine that is normal every so often. But I'd have no problem pointing out if it was like that all the time, that I want to talk to HIM not his roomies. He can go in the bathroom for 5 min or so to call and say hi:)
Wow this turned out long hahaha.
Good luck Lindsey. Chin up. Go get some of your self esteem that I'm sure you have somewhere:)
Hugs,
Nettie"

Once again thanks everyone!
And I have talked to Reagan... and things are a little better. I didn't full on confront him about it all but I figure bit by bit is best for now!

Unsettled and Upset

Last night was dreadful. I cried myself to sleep for the first time in months.
And I just woke up twenty minutes ago.

I was on the phone with Reagan last night, and over half the time he was either silent, or had passed the phone to a few of his buddies that were in his room of the barracks just chilling. As always I do my very best to be polite to them, even though I would really rather be talking to my own Marine... I mean I normally at least tell him to say hello to them for me so that I'm polite and will have some frame of reference with them when I go to visit in August... but last night there was more then usual.

The point is last night I was made horribly upset upon the thought that Reagan, doesn't really need me. When I was talking to him I asked if he should be getting to sleep (as it's two hours later for him) and he just sighed and was like "No, I HAVE to talk to you, I can't sleep yet." And when I said he didn't have to he just denied it and I just felt horrible and got the impression that he only called as some sort of obligation, and not because he genuinely wanted to talk to me.

This really upset me because things have been going so well between us but in the past couple of weeks he's sort of changed his mood and I just felt horrible that he may be starting to think of me as "just another thing on the TO DO list".

I had also asked if there was anything he would like me to send him, he isn't deployed right now but in the past he as always really enjoyed when I have baked something and mailed it, and he replied, "Well whatever. If you do, I'll eat it." Once again the tone was obligatory.

I suppose I should say that I'm rather used to him not being "deeply open" with me, or needing to "share" things with me, he is afterall that sort of "Man's Man" granted to some extent what Marine isn't? He claims that its because he's not used to having someone that is willling to care that much and won't judge him for opening up. However I think its starting to get to where that's not really the case. And now as of late I feel like he doesn't even need me for the little things, like even telling me what he did that day which always is of interest to me, and he's always said that he liked telling me about his day, even if he did just go get papers signed and had to check in at the Brig or whatever... He's resorted to "Eh, it was just work." or when I asked what he did today he takes a joking tone and says "I'm not at liberty to discuss that." which he may not be joking which would be okay if he couldn't, he should say that, but if that isn't true, he is just avoiding the subject.

I am almost certain something is wrong, cause he's clammed up so much lately and I am almost certain he's been drinking even more then usual and not doing so well kicking his smoking habit. (After four months of being clean he was smoking when he went home to Boston and like three cigars in the past like week.)

I guess I'm really hoping that he's just being prideful, or trying to keep me from worrying but I don't think he realizes that he's making me worry even more by not saying anything. I don't want to confront him about it just yet, that scares me.

But then again it could just be my own neuroses that are getting in the way and making me feel so insignificant, but the last thing I want to be with him is a convienent accessory, I'm doing my best to be a good girlfriend and work hard to see him, which if I scrape every penny I can barely afford it.

I just wish he would rely on me and have a need for me other then a sort of trophy prize to have on base... which is sort of what I feel like these days. I sort of hope it's just something bothering him... or... well I don't even want to consider worse then that, like earlier deployment orders that haven't been offically announced...

Anyway I just felt so bad last night and this morning so I just wanted to vent. Hopefully you all here and the girls in my support group will be of some comfort so I can worry less and get more sleep.

I'm going to go scrub the shower now... it will make me feel better I think. Cleaning usually does.

UPDATES: Me, Lolita and the USMC!

Okay so big warning! This is gonna be a HUGE post I have a lot to say!!

So UPDATES: (+=good things, -= bad things)


ME:

+/-Well things have been pretty boring since I returned home, I pretty much putz around my house and sew, watch BONES reruns and talk in the wee hours of the morning to my boyfriend.

+I have also managed to make it to the gym or play tennis 3 times a week at least! +However I do luckily have a job this summer! Only two days a week at the Colorado Renaissance Festival! It will be really fun and I will hopefully continue to loose some weight! I'm working at Friar Tuck's Bakery so come and see me! I need the customers! And we make really yummy stuff!!!

-If you know me well you know that I have had a reoccuring shoulder problem. Turns out it wasn't just stress, my muscle is actually overworking itself and having negative growth so its basically weaker and covering the muscle with new muscular scar tissue kind of stuff. So I am now doing physical therapy to help make the constant pain I have go away so I don't have to take meds for it!


USMC: For the full report venture to meh LJ.

-I'm also really depressed lately because I had to push my trip to North Carolina back... to August. I'm pretty sure Reagan was mad about that even though he only admitted mild disappointment. It will just be easier for me cause I won't be as stressed and I will get to stay with him for like eight days instead of just barely four... so I hope that we can hang in for these couple of months.

+ I recently joined a online chat and support group for Marine girlfriends, wives, and significant others! All the women I have talked to are just super nice and its really lovely to have women there that understand how hard it is to stand behind our men in uniform, and I am just hoping that when Reagan deploys I can have as much courage as those women do and I can support him when he is even FURTHER away from me! (The group is www.usmcgals.com)

+I mailed a small package to Reagan yesterday! It is adorable and I hope he will like it! I made it especially for his 24 hour duty this upcoming Wendsday night! But I can't tell you what's in it here! Or it would ruin the suprise! Perhaps after he receives it I will let the suprise out!


LOLITA DAY: Yesterday was International Lolita Day!

+ I not only got to see Leah again and hung out with her for like half the night, but also met two new Lolita! They were really nice a little shy but Danielle and I agreed that it was because we were a bit intimadating we weren't trying to be but we did talk brand and shop alot! XDD

+Today was super fun! I got to debut my new music note skirt... handmade and I even got a compliment that it looked professional and not handmade! YAY! I'm finally getting better!

+Reagan thought Lolita fashion was "aight" And he wouldn't totally be ashamed if I wore it out in public with him! YAY!

+We met many lovely people, including a lady who took a picture of us all together, a older couple at the crepe place we went to, and a shop girl in a REALLY beautiful shop... it fed the hime gyaru in me! And the shop girl talked and talked to us! We will soo have to go back to that shop again!

+When we had Boba downtown it was really neat! We met two girls from Japan that were like! OMG! Lolitas! "May we take your pictures??" And they just kept saying "Kawaii!" over and over! And they were so adorable!!! It was a lot of fun and I love it when I have a good experience!

+/- There were these ADORABLE bunnies in the pet store... but the one I really wanted who was just soo cute I can't have... damn the dorms.

- There was a homeless guy, a creepy guy who Leah was like "Umm goatees don't fit with Lolita style." XD, and several glares from people in the Chapel Hills Mall, shame on you for your lack of tolerence.

-I got sunburned! Owwie!

And that's about it!

PS: Totally pissed that the WonderGirls (Awesome Korean Pop girl group) will NOT be performing as an opening Act for the Jonas Brothers at MY SHOW! WHY??! Only three days later they join the tour... damn you Oregan and California!

Double PS: I totally read my best friend's mother's journal today! And I have to agree with what she said about being the presense of such history! It really can be breathtaking!