So I finally got to sink my hands back into the Rat Race today! It felt great to work again! The Renaissance Festival is REALLY fun so far and it's pretty easy work! I don't know what I was so worried about!
It wasn't too hot and I got to smell fresh coffee and pastries all day! And wear a costume! WOO!!
**I saw a lolita at the Fair today... wearing the Moi Meme Moitie JSK (jumper skirt) that I WANT the most!!!! And I was thinking like OMFG! I can't believe you are wearing THAT outfit to a dusty place like this! I nearly cried! One because it was beautiful to see and two because she doesn't deserve to wear that JSK if she is going to mistreat it! (Its like nearly 400 USD now!)
Anyway!
Good day, my shoulder hurts a bit and my tummy is complaining but that's just my organs moving back into place from the corset... eww I know... I also made $26 in tips! YAY!!!! That pays for the offbrand skirt that I ordered just yesterday!!
Ja mata mina-san!!!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
YATA!
Despite having Reagan mildly annoyed at me (grumpy pants), my mother returning home, and only managing to get like three hours of sleep I am rather happy today!
This is because I heard from my host sister Manami today! I have missed her soo much since I met her in 2006 in Japan and it is hard for us to reach each other because we are soo busy! However today in her email she said that she is coming to the states for study in August! YAY!! She will be in Reno, Nevada... anyone up for a road trip??? Hmm?! Otherwise I hope that I can see her or she can come stay with me on a break or something! That would be soo cool! And now she has a Facebook! YAY! So we can hopefully talk more frequently!
Well that's it for now I think I'm gonna get some lunch!
Ja mata!
This is because I heard from my host sister Manami today! I have missed her soo much since I met her in 2006 in Japan and it is hard for us to reach each other because we are soo busy! However today in her email she said that she is coming to the states for study in August! YAY!! She will be in Reno, Nevada... anyone up for a road trip??? Hmm?! Otherwise I hope that I can see her or she can come stay with me on a break or something! That would be soo cool! And now she has a Facebook! YAY! So we can hopefully talk more frequently!
Well that's it for now I think I'm gonna get some lunch!
Ja mata!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
THANK YOU!
As I posted yesterday things have been a wee bit on the difficult side. As I told Danielle today I think I was just having one of my bad days... and things are bound to get better! But I can't thank you my dear friends enough for your support! I'm so happy that I can come to you even if it is just me venting my paranoia.
I also wanted to post one of the many, very supportive messages that my USMC Girlfriend support group posted on my message... I never realized how big the hearts of other women can be!
"Hi Lindsey,
I know how you feel...but are you sure your not over reacting or taking it
completely the wrong way? Maybe he meant that he Misses you and want his
daily call with you because he misses you so much and that's why he HAD to
call you and not that you are on any to do list....maybe he was passing you around on the phone cause he is proud of you and it was more of a "Here, I'll grace you with a talk to my hot and cool girlfriend" than "Talk to my girlfriend, I don't want to so you do it" kinda goofy guy thing?
By now I hope you have been able to talk to him and that it was a better conversation. Personally, if it continued I'd tell him how you feel when he passes you around on the phone. And maybe you guys should talk every other day (if you are talking every day now, that is), so you have something to talk about. I have found myself, that on the rare occasions my marine and I don't talk one day, the next day's call is much longer and tends to have better quality.
Last but not least: if the case is (which I don't think it is) that he
is repetadly only calling you cause he is obligated and doesn't REALLY
want to, then it's his loss. You are a great strong girl and any man would be LUCKY to have you. And if he can't be respectful to you and make sure your needs are met (when USMC allows for it) as much as he can while you are seperated, although you are faitfully sitting at home and waiting for him and encourage him, then he doesn't deserve you! But I dont think that's the case :)
Maybe he is stressed or for some reason needed to be cool infront of the other boys. Every so often my man will be distracted and have stuff going on with his roomies while we talk. I would imagine that is normal every so often. But I'd have no problem pointing out if it was like that all the time, that I want to talk to HIM not his roomies. He can go in the bathroom for 5 min or so to call and say hi:)
Wow this turned out long hahaha.
Good luck Lindsey. Chin up. Go get some of your self esteem that I'm sure you have somewhere:)
Hugs,
Nettie"
Once again thanks everyone!
And I have talked to Reagan... and things are a little better. I didn't full on confront him about it all but I figure bit by bit is best for now!
I also wanted to post one of the many, very supportive messages that my USMC Girlfriend support group posted on my message... I never realized how big the hearts of other women can be!
"Hi Lindsey,
I know how you feel...but are you sure your not over reacting or taking it
completely the wrong way? Maybe he meant that he Misses you and want his
daily call with you because he misses you so much and that's why he HAD to
call you and not that you are on any to do list....maybe he was passing you around on the phone cause he is proud of you and it was more of a "Here, I'll grace you with a talk to my hot and cool girlfriend" than "Talk to my girlfriend, I don't want to so you do it" kinda goofy guy thing?
By now I hope you have been able to talk to him and that it was a better conversation. Personally, if it continued I'd tell him how you feel when he passes you around on the phone. And maybe you guys should talk every other day (if you are talking every day now, that is), so you have something to talk about. I have found myself, that on the rare occasions my marine and I don't talk one day, the next day's call is much longer and tends to have better quality.
Last but not least: if the case is (which I don't think it is) that he
is repetadly only calling you cause he is obligated and doesn't REALLY
want to, then it's his loss. You are a great strong girl and any man would be LUCKY to have you. And if he can't be respectful to you and make sure your needs are met (when USMC allows for it) as much as he can while you are seperated, although you are faitfully sitting at home and waiting for him and encourage him, then he doesn't deserve you! But I dont think that's the case :)
Maybe he is stressed or for some reason needed to be cool infront of the other boys. Every so often my man will be distracted and have stuff going on with his roomies while we talk. I would imagine that is normal every so often. But I'd have no problem pointing out if it was like that all the time, that I want to talk to HIM not his roomies. He can go in the bathroom for 5 min or so to call and say hi:)
Wow this turned out long hahaha.
Good luck Lindsey. Chin up. Go get some of your self esteem that I'm sure you have somewhere:)
Hugs,
Nettie"
Once again thanks everyone!
And I have talked to Reagan... and things are a little better. I didn't full on confront him about it all but I figure bit by bit is best for now!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Unsettled and Upset
Last night was dreadful. I cried myself to sleep for the first time in months.
And I just woke up twenty minutes ago.
I was on the phone with Reagan last night, and over half the time he was either silent, or had passed the phone to a few of his buddies that were in his room of the barracks just chilling. As always I do my very best to be polite to them, even though I would really rather be talking to my own Marine... I mean I normally at least tell him to say hello to them for me so that I'm polite and will have some frame of reference with them when I go to visit in August... but last night there was more then usual.
The point is last night I was made horribly upset upon the thought that Reagan, doesn't really need me. When I was talking to him I asked if he should be getting to sleep (as it's two hours later for him) and he just sighed and was like "No, I HAVE to talk to you, I can't sleep yet." And when I said he didn't have to he just denied it and I just felt horrible and got the impression that he only called as some sort of obligation, and not because he genuinely wanted to talk to me.
This really upset me because things have been going so well between us but in the past couple of weeks he's sort of changed his mood and I just felt horrible that he may be starting to think of me as "just another thing on the TO DO list".
I had also asked if there was anything he would like me to send him, he isn't deployed right now but in the past he as always really enjoyed when I have baked something and mailed it, and he replied, "Well whatever. If you do, I'll eat it." Once again the tone was obligatory.
I suppose I should say that I'm rather used to him not being "deeply open" with me, or needing to "share" things with me, he is afterall that sort of "Man's Man" granted to some extent what Marine isn't? He claims that its because he's not used to having someone that is willling to care that much and won't judge him for opening up. However I think its starting to get to where that's not really the case. And now as of late I feel like he doesn't even need me for the little things, like even telling me what he did that day which always is of interest to me, and he's always said that he liked telling me about his day, even if he did just go get papers signed and had to check in at the Brig or whatever... He's resorted to "Eh, it was just work." or when I asked what he did today he takes a joking tone and says "I'm not at liberty to discuss that." which he may not be joking which would be okay if he couldn't, he should say that, but if that isn't true, he is just avoiding the subject.
I am almost certain something is wrong, cause he's clammed up so much lately and I am almost certain he's been drinking even more then usual and not doing so well kicking his smoking habit. (After four months of being clean he was smoking when he went home to Boston and like three cigars in the past like week.)
I guess I'm really hoping that he's just being prideful, or trying to keep me from worrying but I don't think he realizes that he's making me worry even more by not saying anything. I don't want to confront him about it just yet, that scares me.
But then again it could just be my own neuroses that are getting in the way and making me feel so insignificant, but the last thing I want to be with him is a convienent accessory, I'm doing my best to be a good girlfriend and work hard to see him, which if I scrape every penny I can barely afford it.
I just wish he would rely on me and have a need for me other then a sort of trophy prize to have on base... which is sort of what I feel like these days. I sort of hope it's just something bothering him... or... well I don't even want to consider worse then that, like earlier deployment orders that haven't been offically announced...
Anyway I just felt so bad last night and this morning so I just wanted to vent. Hopefully you all here and the girls in my support group will be of some comfort so I can worry less and get more sleep.
I'm going to go scrub the shower now... it will make me feel better I think. Cleaning usually does.
And I just woke up twenty minutes ago.
I was on the phone with Reagan last night, and over half the time he was either silent, or had passed the phone to a few of his buddies that were in his room of the barracks just chilling. As always I do my very best to be polite to them, even though I would really rather be talking to my own Marine... I mean I normally at least tell him to say hello to them for me so that I'm polite and will have some frame of reference with them when I go to visit in August... but last night there was more then usual.
The point is last night I was made horribly upset upon the thought that Reagan, doesn't really need me. When I was talking to him I asked if he should be getting to sleep (as it's two hours later for him) and he just sighed and was like "No, I HAVE to talk to you, I can't sleep yet." And when I said he didn't have to he just denied it and I just felt horrible and got the impression that he only called as some sort of obligation, and not because he genuinely wanted to talk to me.
This really upset me because things have been going so well between us but in the past couple of weeks he's sort of changed his mood and I just felt horrible that he may be starting to think of me as "just another thing on the TO DO list".
I had also asked if there was anything he would like me to send him, he isn't deployed right now but in the past he as always really enjoyed when I have baked something and mailed it, and he replied, "Well whatever. If you do, I'll eat it." Once again the tone was obligatory.
I suppose I should say that I'm rather used to him not being "deeply open" with me, or needing to "share" things with me, he is afterall that sort of "Man's Man" granted to some extent what Marine isn't? He claims that its because he's not used to having someone that is willling to care that much and won't judge him for opening up. However I think its starting to get to where that's not really the case. And now as of late I feel like he doesn't even need me for the little things, like even telling me what he did that day which always is of interest to me, and he's always said that he liked telling me about his day, even if he did just go get papers signed and had to check in at the Brig or whatever... He's resorted to "Eh, it was just work." or when I asked what he did today he takes a joking tone and says "I'm not at liberty to discuss that." which he may not be joking which would be okay if he couldn't, he should say that, but if that isn't true, he is just avoiding the subject.
I am almost certain something is wrong, cause he's clammed up so much lately and I am almost certain he's been drinking even more then usual and not doing so well kicking his smoking habit. (After four months of being clean he was smoking when he went home to Boston and like three cigars in the past like week.)
I guess I'm really hoping that he's just being prideful, or trying to keep me from worrying but I don't think he realizes that he's making me worry even more by not saying anything. I don't want to confront him about it just yet, that scares me.
But then again it could just be my own neuroses that are getting in the way and making me feel so insignificant, but the last thing I want to be with him is a convienent accessory, I'm doing my best to be a good girlfriend and work hard to see him, which if I scrape every penny I can barely afford it.
I just wish he would rely on me and have a need for me other then a sort of trophy prize to have on base... which is sort of what I feel like these days. I sort of hope it's just something bothering him... or... well I don't even want to consider worse then that, like earlier deployment orders that haven't been offically announced...
Anyway I just felt so bad last night and this morning so I just wanted to vent. Hopefully you all here and the girls in my support group will be of some comfort so I can worry less and get more sleep.
I'm going to go scrub the shower now... it will make me feel better I think. Cleaning usually does.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
UPDATES: Me, Lolita and the USMC!
Okay so big warning! This is gonna be a HUGE post I have a lot to say!!
So UPDATES: (+=good things, -= bad things)
ME:
+/-Well things have been pretty boring since I returned home, I pretty much putz around my house and sew, watch BONES reruns and talk in the wee hours of the morning to my boyfriend.
+I have also managed to make it to the gym or play tennis 3 times a week at least! +However I do luckily have a job this summer! Only two days a week at the Colorado Renaissance Festival! It will be really fun and I will hopefully continue to loose some weight! I'm working at Friar Tuck's Bakery so come and see me! I need the customers! And we make really yummy stuff!!!
-If you know me well you know that I have had a reoccuring shoulder problem. Turns out it wasn't just stress, my muscle is actually overworking itself and having negative growth so its basically weaker and covering the muscle with new muscular scar tissue kind of stuff. So I am now doing physical therapy to help make the constant pain I have go away so I don't have to take meds for it!
USMC: For the full report venture to meh LJ.
-I'm also really depressed lately because I had to push my trip to North Carolina back... to August. I'm pretty sure Reagan was mad about that even though he only admitted mild disappointment. It will just be easier for me cause I won't be as stressed and I will get to stay with him for like eight days instead of just barely four... so I hope that we can hang in for these couple of months.
+ I recently joined a online chat and support group for Marine girlfriends, wives, and significant others! All the women I have talked to are just super nice and its really lovely to have women there that understand how hard it is to stand behind our men in uniform, and I am just hoping that when Reagan deploys I can have as much courage as those women do and I can support him when he is even FURTHER away from me! (The group is www.usmcgals.com)
+I mailed a small package to Reagan yesterday! It is adorable and I hope he will like it! I made it especially for his 24 hour duty this upcoming Wendsday night! But I can't tell you what's in it here! Or it would ruin the suprise! Perhaps after he receives it I will let the suprise out!
LOLITA DAY: Yesterday was International Lolita Day!
+ I not only got to see Leah again and hung out with her for like half the night, but also met two new Lolita! They were really nice a little shy but Danielle and I agreed that it was because we were a bit intimadating we weren't trying to be but we did talk brand and shop alot! XDD
+Today was super fun! I got to debut my new music note skirt... handmade and I even got a compliment that it looked professional and not handmade! YAY! I'm finally getting better!
+Reagan thought Lolita fashion was "aight" And he wouldn't totally be ashamed if I wore it out in public with him! YAY!
+We met many lovely people, including a lady who took a picture of us all together, a older couple at the crepe place we went to, and a shop girl in a REALLY beautiful shop... it fed the hime gyaru in me! And the shop girl talked and talked to us! We will soo have to go back to that shop again!
+When we had Boba downtown it was really neat! We met two girls from Japan that were like! OMG! Lolitas! "May we take your pictures??" And they just kept saying "Kawaii!" over and over! And they were so adorable!!! It was a lot of fun and I love it when I have a good experience!
+/- There were these ADORABLE bunnies in the pet store... but the one I really wanted who was just soo cute I can't have... damn the dorms.
- There was a homeless guy, a creepy guy who Leah was like "Umm goatees don't fit with Lolita style." XD, and several glares from people in the Chapel Hills Mall, shame on you for your lack of tolerence.
-I got sunburned! Owwie!
And that's about it!
PS: Totally pissed that the WonderGirls (Awesome Korean Pop girl group) will NOT be performing as an opening Act for the Jonas Brothers at MY SHOW! WHY??! Only three days later they join the tour... damn you Oregan and California!
Double PS: I totally read my best friend's mother's journal today! And I have to agree with what she said about being the presense of such history! It really can be breathtaking!
So UPDATES: (+=good things, -= bad things)
ME:
+/-Well things have been pretty boring since I returned home, I pretty much putz around my house and sew, watch BONES reruns and talk in the wee hours of the morning to my boyfriend.
+I have also managed to make it to the gym or play tennis 3 times a week at least! +However I do luckily have a job this summer! Only two days a week at the Colorado Renaissance Festival! It will be really fun and I will hopefully continue to loose some weight! I'm working at Friar Tuck's Bakery so come and see me! I need the customers! And we make really yummy stuff!!!
-If you know me well you know that I have had a reoccuring shoulder problem. Turns out it wasn't just stress, my muscle is actually overworking itself and having negative growth so its basically weaker and covering the muscle with new muscular scar tissue kind of stuff. So I am now doing physical therapy to help make the constant pain I have go away so I don't have to take meds for it!
USMC: For the full report venture to meh LJ.
-I'm also really depressed lately because I had to push my trip to North Carolina back... to August. I'm pretty sure Reagan was mad about that even though he only admitted mild disappointment. It will just be easier for me cause I won't be as stressed and I will get to stay with him for like eight days instead of just barely four... so I hope that we can hang in for these couple of months.
+ I recently joined a online chat and support group for Marine girlfriends, wives, and significant others! All the women I have talked to are just super nice and its really lovely to have women there that understand how hard it is to stand behind our men in uniform, and I am just hoping that when Reagan deploys I can have as much courage as those women do and I can support him when he is even FURTHER away from me! (The group is www.usmcgals.com)
+I mailed a small package to Reagan yesterday! It is adorable and I hope he will like it! I made it especially for his 24 hour duty this upcoming Wendsday night! But I can't tell you what's in it here! Or it would ruin the suprise! Perhaps after he receives it I will let the suprise out!
LOLITA DAY: Yesterday was International Lolita Day!
+ I not only got to see Leah again and hung out with her for like half the night, but also met two new Lolita! They were really nice a little shy but Danielle and I agreed that it was because we were a bit intimadating we weren't trying to be but we did talk brand and shop alot! XDD
+Today was super fun! I got to debut my new music note skirt... handmade and I even got a compliment that it looked professional and not handmade! YAY! I'm finally getting better!
+Reagan thought Lolita fashion was "aight" And he wouldn't totally be ashamed if I wore it out in public with him! YAY!
+We met many lovely people, including a lady who took a picture of us all together, a older couple at the crepe place we went to, and a shop girl in a REALLY beautiful shop... it fed the hime gyaru in me! And the shop girl talked and talked to us! We will soo have to go back to that shop again!
+When we had Boba downtown it was really neat! We met two girls from Japan that were like! OMG! Lolitas! "May we take your pictures??" And they just kept saying "Kawaii!" over and over! And they were so adorable!!! It was a lot of fun and I love it when I have a good experience!
+/- There were these ADORABLE bunnies in the pet store... but the one I really wanted who was just soo cute I can't have... damn the dorms.
- There was a homeless guy, a creepy guy who Leah was like "Umm goatees don't fit with Lolita style." XD, and several glares from people in the Chapel Hills Mall, shame on you for your lack of tolerence.
-I got sunburned! Owwie!
And that's about it!
PS: Totally pissed that the WonderGirls (Awesome Korean Pop girl group) will NOT be performing as an opening Act for the Jonas Brothers at MY SHOW! WHY??! Only three days later they join the tour... damn you Oregan and California!
Double PS: I totally read my best friend's mother's journal today! And I have to agree with what she said about being the presense of such history! It really can be breathtaking!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
I made it!
Yeah that's right! I just finished my first year of college! And I'm rather sober and alive! Its a really great feeling. I definately think I could have done a lot better this year but you know its all about learning isn't it!? I know what to change for next year now! And so now I am taking a few minutes from packing to talk what happened this academic year!
-I finished my first year of formal Japanese, I believe I know somewhere around 150 to 200 kanji. I can write to my host sister in Japanese now!
-I can speak and hold a pretty nice conversation in Japanese!
-I got my first D on a paper... not good but weird.
-I wore Lolita in a school setting for the first time since I had a horrible experience in high school.
-I met some of the most wonderful frilly friends a Lolita could have! Here's to you Phen and Syd!! Supa <3s!
-I met my heterosexual lifemate! Asuka you make my half, a whole and it's awesome!
-I left the realm of singledom once again and am dating a wonderful man! Reagan, ngoh oi nei! (And yeah go laugh at my horrible Cantonese!)
- I learned that I really can be happy without having absolutely everything
-I now have a closer knit group of people that share my passion for Asian culture.
-I'm finally getting to make my dreams into reality.
-I successfully lived on my own.
-I've lost weight!
-I've had a hot teacher... Thanks Kurt North for teaching SPCM-200!
On a side note I had a wonderful time out withPhen and Syd yesterday evening in lolita! I can't wait till we get our brand stuff Syd! Or when we will get to have a sewing circle together!
Also today I went to see my Japanese class before their final and I got this warm fuzzy feeling when I said goodbye it was really nice for everyone to wish me good bye and a good summer! みな！がんばってください！！！！！！ I will also miss seeing Mori-sensei! She is so fun and I love the fact that we love drama and that Sojiro is her favorite from F4! *sigh* Now only if there was somewhere she could tell me so I could go learn tea ceremony! Cause I've always wanted to do it!
Well that's all for now! Back to packing!
Ja mata!
PS: And Phen cause I know you are reading this I hope you know that I think you and senpai will be soo sweet if it all goes in your favor... and yah I sorta wanted a big J-dorama showdown... ya know how I do.
-I finished my first year of formal Japanese, I believe I know somewhere around 150 to 200 kanji. I can write to my host sister in Japanese now!
-I can speak and hold a pretty nice conversation in Japanese!
-I got my first D on a paper... not good but weird.
-I wore Lolita in a school setting for the first time since I had a horrible experience in high school.
-I met some of the most wonderful frilly friends a Lolita could have! Here's to you Phen and Syd!! Supa <3s!
-I met my heterosexual lifemate! Asuka you make my half, a whole and it's awesome!
-I left the realm of singledom once again and am dating a wonderful man! Reagan, ngoh oi nei! (And yeah go laugh at my horrible Cantonese!)
- I learned that I really can be happy without having absolutely everything
-I now have a closer knit group of people that share my passion for Asian culture.
-I'm finally getting to make my dreams into reality.
-I successfully lived on my own.
-I've lost weight!
-I've had a hot teacher... Thanks Kurt North for teaching SPCM-200!
On a side note I had a wonderful time out withPhen and Syd yesterday evening in lolita! I can't wait till we get our brand stuff Syd! Or when we will get to have a sewing circle together!
Also today I went to see my Japanese class before their final and I got this warm fuzzy feeling when I said goodbye it was really nice for everyone to wish me good bye and a good summer! みな！がんばってください！！！！！！ I will also miss seeing Mori-sensei! She is so fun and I love the fact that we love drama and that Sojiro is her favorite from F4! *sigh* Now only if there was somewhere she could tell me so I could go learn tea ceremony! Cause I've always wanted to do it!
Well that's all for now! Back to packing!
Ja mata!
PS: And Phen cause I know you are reading this I hope you know that I think you and senpai will be soo sweet if it all goes in your favor... and yah I sorta wanted a big J-dorama showdown... ya know how I do.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Another week down!
I made it through another week of classes! Only one week and finals left! WHEEE!!!! I'm sooo friggin ready for summer!!
Today I was at work... and I cut my finger on the tomato slicer! It hurts!! But I now have a Hello Kitty Band-Aid on it and that is definately helping infinately!
I also had the Japanese composition today and I will be honest, I'm pretty sure I did miserable on it. I am mostly disappointed in myself because I know I am capable of doing a lot better, and doing things, like memorizing all the kanji... but I've just been taking the easy road... which is sad and now that I am at crunch time I am really feeling my slacking this term and it makes me upset because I know how much other people have invested in me (namely my parents) and the last thing I want to do is let them all down! Cause I've already been flaky when it comes to what I wanted to do with my life. And now with hindsight I am seeing that I can't let things keep going they way their are both with my finances and my academics. And I need to push past my exhaustion and get that boulder over the hill, but it's certainly hard to find the motivation but I am trying to get things back together.
Some goodish news. The exam for my Genetics course that I thought I bombed well I actually got a 78%! Yeah it's not a good grade persay but it's the best one I've had in that class so far and I just need a C (which may still kill my father but.... c'est la vie non?) to pass but I'm going to do my damnest to get things together for this final and hopefully yank my grade up to a B-, which would be sweet!
In other news I've added two more shifts to work which is good cause I can have money to spend in LA and still have a tinny bit for visiting Reagan... is it selfish and easy for me to succum to his request and let him pay for my visit to see him... yeah... I thought soo....
And speaking of Reagan, we are doing well and he told me last night that he wasn't telling me things not because he didn't want to it was because he just isn't used to having someone he can totally be open with and so it will "take me some time" but at least that's a start. You gotta love men and their pride. XDD
So anyway I have a letter to read and reply to from an old high school teacher and then I will write one to Reagan... then maybe treat myself to the latest ep of Grey's... or BONES... hmm choices... it's gonna be a wild Friday night. Lulz.
PS: Phen! Stop beating me in posting all da time! Serious! I feel like I'm copying joo!!
Ja mata! (>3<)v
Today I was at work... and I cut my finger on the tomato slicer! It hurts!! But I now have a Hello Kitty Band-Aid on it and that is definately helping infinately!
I also had the Japanese composition today and I will be honest, I'm pretty sure I did miserable on it. I am mostly disappointed in myself because I know I am capable of doing a lot better, and doing things, like memorizing all the kanji... but I've just been taking the easy road... which is sad and now that I am at crunch time I am really feeling my slacking this term and it makes me upset because I know how much other people have invested in me (namely my parents) and the last thing I want to do is let them all down! Cause I've already been flaky when it comes to what I wanted to do with my life. And now with hindsight I am seeing that I can't let things keep going they way their are both with my finances and my academics. And I need to push past my exhaustion and get that boulder over the hill, but it's certainly hard to find the motivation but I am trying to get things back together.
Some goodish news. The exam for my Genetics course that I thought I bombed well I actually got a 78%! Yeah it's not a good grade persay but it's the best one I've had in that class so far and I just need a C (which may still kill my father but.... c'est la vie non?) to pass but I'm going to do my damnest to get things together for this final and hopefully yank my grade up to a B-, which would be sweet!
In other news I've added two more shifts to work which is good cause I can have money to spend in LA and still have a tinny bit for visiting Reagan... is it selfish and easy for me to succum to his request and let him pay for my visit to see him... yeah... I thought soo....
And speaking of Reagan, we are doing well and he told me last night that he wasn't telling me things not because he didn't want to it was because he just isn't used to having someone he can totally be open with and so it will "take me some time" but at least that's a start. You gotta love men and their pride. XDD
So anyway I have a letter to read and reply to from an old high school teacher and then I will write one to Reagan... then maybe treat myself to the latest ep of Grey's... or BONES... hmm choices... it's gonna be a wild Friday night. Lulz.
PS: Phen! Stop beating me in posting all da time! Serious! I feel like I'm copying joo!!
Ja mata! (>3<)v
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