If That Doesn't Kill Me...

Then who knows what will.

This weekend was really hard for me. A lot of days have been hard lately. I find myself having to yank harder at my motivation to get me out of bed each day. I don't know what it is... maybe I've taken on too much or maybe I lack motivation because I'm not doing enough to keep me busy enough that I don't notice... or I just don't see the point in prioritizing anymore.

I'm getting sick of all the negetive energy surrounding me there are a couple of people in particular that are partially the cause. And I don't mean just meantally sick most likely physically sick as well. I've had a cough that's hung in there till nearly week four. I'm really hoping its not the stress related sore throat that I had in high school. My stomach seems to be on the fritz as well... woo hoo. And to top it off... I burnt myself on Sunday.

But back to this weekend. It was so rough that I ended up cleaning my entire dorm room. Top to bottom side to side... I even cleaned up Chelsea's half... I scrubbed and wiped and washed and dusted... and after all that I still felt miserable and had myself a good ol' fashioned cry... you know the ugly kind with a runny nose and everything.

I'm doing my best to keep my spirits up. And Reagan is helping a little bit but it doesn't help that I talk to him and miss him and can't fall asleep easily without him anymore... I knew men were more trouble then they are worth! But I picked up my dress... the pics are on Facebook in a limited group so Reagan can't see it. I want it to be a total suprise. I'm worried about him getting his Blues though... procrastinatin....

Today he called me mid day and asked if I wanted a bunny. His friends breeds them and Reagan thought it would be a good idea to get me one for my Birthday... silly man... he was like... you could keep it at your friend's house... riiight...

But school is just frustrating... mostly my Composition class.... it takes my nerves and smashes them to a pulp... I just don't understand that class. I wrote my papers in the dark... I got a B+ but still... and it just isn't interesting to me... but I meet with my advisor soon for registration so maybe that will be nice.

I'm also worried about study abroad... it looks like I will either have to work extra... break up or at least go on hiatus with Reagan (so I don't spend the money it takes to visit) or I just can't go... because I don't want my parents to pay for EVERYTHING...

But whatever enough of that... I need to just go sleep...