So a few days ago I found out the Reagan is going to soon have to make a tough decision. Because of his minor medical condition the USMC wants to "medically retire" him... my impression they are cutting budgets and want to boot out everyone who MIGHT cost them extra money... how rude... but c'est la vie. However if he wants to stay in and his CO and some board or something deem him worthy then he can have a permenant desk job. So the pros and cons of this.
GETTING OUT:
PROS:
-He doesn't deploy!
-He would recieve a large amount in compensation and still get his benefits (GI Bill etc.)
-He could possibly be with me more, as a civilan.
CONS:
-He would have to go to school and I think be wasting time and money figuring out what he wants to do.
-He may not be happy with civilan life.
-He may not find a job.
-I'm not that confident I could fully support his decision...
STAYING IN:
PROs:
-He will continue to have a steady job and income.
-It will be easier for him to get promoted with a different MOS.
-He will be able to have a career and "retire" at 42... which is goal is 45... soo...
-I can fully support his decision without question, and I have confidence of his success.
CONS:
-He may not enjoy his new job as much as infantry.
-The Marines may decide he is again fit for deployment... and who knows what that means.
Regardless, Reagan and I don't have all the information needed to make an educated decision but I ultimately want it to be his decision and for him to do it for the right reasons.
OKAY NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS:
I Skyped with Reagan last night! It was so wonderful to see him even if we couldn't be right with each other. Its like a date... that we both can have in our PJs. I miss seeing him smile and laugh... or make fishy faces with me! Hopefully this will be a more regular occurence and I won't have to miss him soo much all the time!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Shove It Cinderella!
Funny how things can turn over in a day and bitch slap you in the face.
It's around eleven at night and I should be sound asleep after having talked to Reagan... but no. I'm blogging again. My reason is because I'm angry, upset, depressed, confused and just plain miffed!So what's got my bloomers in a knot you ask? Well Mr. Marine himself of course!
Tonight he told me on good authority that the Marine Corps. Ball is to be held on November 14th this year. A Saturday! That's just fine and dandy... only problem I have class on Friday... and Monday so I would only be able to fly out and stay two nights at best. And because my father is a sort of stick in the mud there is no way I can skip out on classes and flit across the country to play princess for a night... so my trip has to begin AFTER class ends at 4pm... but the only flights I can make... well they cost over $300... at the cheapest. It makes me want to cry soo hard!!!
I don't think Reagan understands how much something like this ball means to me. Yes its selfish of me... but I am human. Its not just a dress up party to booze it up and eat cake. Its status, its important, its solidifying and its pride. It's status because it puts me on the map in his world in more then an informal setting with his buddies. It's important because well, it something I've always wanted to attend and you all should know how important things like balls are to us girls, I can't quite explain it. It solidifies... like a status, it says, yes I do exist I am the woman that supports him and am there to make him the best man that he can possibly be. And lastly its my pride. I almost hate to write about this but I think I should say it so eventually I can tell him... I tried explaining it and well I don't think he got the message.
So, my pride. I am not the most patriotic American out there, but when I decided to date Reagan I wasn't just dating him the wonderful man (though that is the vast majority) I am dating the MARINE. Everything they stand for honor, country, duty, responsiblity, courage, strength, leadership, stability... need I go on? Are all qualities that are VASTLY important to me when it comes to the men I want to be around. If there is one thing I can't stand its people without a mission... and without the Marines I worried that Reagan may just turn out to be one of those people. And I just can't deal with floundering... there has to be a plan. And its like he doesn't really have a clue on reality it seems about what to do after the Marines.... and I'm probably thinking WAAAY too far into the future here but I don't think that's something I could continue supporting... so I can support him now but shouldn't I be reasonable about it and not blow upwards of $500 on a fantastic weekend that won't probably bring me any benefit other then a feel good time?
Regardless, I'm frustrated with him and his lack of thought expression. If he's mad I wish he'd just say it... or if he has an opinon with regards to me or there is something he wants to say then he should just tell me straight up even if it hurts. I'm getting tired of hearing "Whatever Babe", "Nevermind babe." or my personal favorite "I don't care babe." GAH!! It's like "Don't you dare make me claw it out of you GODDAMMIT!"
And finally the last thing that's annoying me.... as usual is MONEY. So pretty much for the second part of my trip and all the while I've been back home Reagan is holding his $1000 credit card bill (most of which involves me) over my head. Which is exactly what I was afraid would happen after he insisted on covering the rooms. We could have gone dutch that's totally fine with me. And he wanted to eat out at nice places almost the whole time! Iwould have been fine with one lovely meal and PB&J with juice boxes for the rest... but no! I swear he wouldn't have that! And I didn't say anything because he seemed so adamit about taking me to various places and doing various things... I was afraid that finances were gonna bite me in the ass... and they are and I'd offered to help him with the bill all that I can but the answer to that is "No, babe, I'll manage... but GAWD you're expensive!" A vicious cycle....Okay... I think I'm done ranting now... at least for the moment.So Dov you can stop stalking your LJ and read, contemplate and comment.
It's around eleven at night and I should be sound asleep after having talked to Reagan... but no. I'm blogging again. My reason is because I'm angry, upset, depressed, confused and just plain miffed!So what's got my bloomers in a knot you ask? Well Mr. Marine himself of course!
Tonight he told me on good authority that the Marine Corps. Ball is to be held on November 14th this year. A Saturday! That's just fine and dandy... only problem I have class on Friday... and Monday so I would only be able to fly out and stay two nights at best. And because my father is a sort of stick in the mud there is no way I can skip out on classes and flit across the country to play princess for a night... so my trip has to begin AFTER class ends at 4pm... but the only flights I can make... well they cost over $300... at the cheapest. It makes me want to cry soo hard!!!
I don't think Reagan understands how much something like this ball means to me. Yes its selfish of me... but I am human. Its not just a dress up party to booze it up and eat cake. Its status, its important, its solidifying and its pride. It's status because it puts me on the map in his world in more then an informal setting with his buddies. It's important because well, it something I've always wanted to attend and you all should know how important things like balls are to us girls, I can't quite explain it. It solidifies... like a status, it says, yes I do exist I am the woman that supports him and am there to make him the best man that he can possibly be. And lastly its my pride. I almost hate to write about this but I think I should say it so eventually I can tell him... I tried explaining it and well I don't think he got the message.
So, my pride. I am not the most patriotic American out there, but when I decided to date Reagan I wasn't just dating him the wonderful man (though that is the vast majority) I am dating the MARINE. Everything they stand for honor, country, duty, responsiblity, courage, strength, leadership, stability... need I go on? Are all qualities that are VASTLY important to me when it comes to the men I want to be around. If there is one thing I can't stand its people without a mission... and without the Marines I worried that Reagan may just turn out to be one of those people. And I just can't deal with floundering... there has to be a plan. And its like he doesn't really have a clue on reality it seems about what to do after the Marines.... and I'm probably thinking WAAAY too far into the future here but I don't think that's something I could continue supporting... so I can support him now but shouldn't I be reasonable about it and not blow upwards of $500 on a fantastic weekend that won't probably bring me any benefit other then a feel good time?
Regardless, I'm frustrated with him and his lack of thought expression. If he's mad I wish he'd just say it... or if he has an opinon with regards to me or there is something he wants to say then he should just tell me straight up even if it hurts. I'm getting tired of hearing "Whatever Babe", "Nevermind babe." or my personal favorite "I don't care babe." GAH!! It's like "Don't you dare make me claw it out of you GODDAMMIT!"
And finally the last thing that's annoying me.... as usual is MONEY. So pretty much for the second part of my trip and all the while I've been back home Reagan is holding his $1000 credit card bill (most of which involves me) over my head. Which is exactly what I was afraid would happen after he insisted on covering the rooms. We could have gone dutch that's totally fine with me. And he wanted to eat out at nice places almost the whole time! Iwould have been fine with one lovely meal and PB&J with juice boxes for the rest... but no! I swear he wouldn't have that! And I didn't say anything because he seemed so adamit about taking me to various places and doing various things... I was afraid that finances were gonna bite me in the ass... and they are and I'd offered to help him with the bill all that I can but the answer to that is "No, babe, I'll manage... but GAWD you're expensive!" A vicious cycle....Okay... I think I'm done ranting now... at least for the moment.So Dov you can stop stalking your LJ and read, contemplate and comment.
To The Coast And Back
My trip was absolutely wonderful, but there was so much to talk about that I don’t really know where to begin… so pretty much a synopsis of the highlights should be sufficient.
I arrived in Raleigh right on time (5:10pm EST) on Tuesday which was really nice. The flight was long and I couldn’t help but fidget for the last thirty minutes of the flight. The airport was surprisingly small so I didn’t have any trouble getting down to where Reagan was going to pick me up but the silly man was waiting in a different spot then he said so he snuck up behind me and I nearly bopped him in the nose when he hugged me from behind. We ended up then driving around town for nearly an hour to find somewhere to eat we ALWAYS seem to get lost when we are together… but we settled on Outback Steakhouse…. one bowl of clam chowder and a strawberry smoothie later…. I was nearly passed out in the passenger seat of his Honda SI… praying I wouldn’t ruin the upholstery. Sad but true. I felt bad because I had promised him I would be full of energy and there I was feeling ill. But he didn’t seem to mind too much. The hotel was absolutely wonderful! After the two hour drive it was wonderful to stay in the Presidential Suite…. which was a pleasant surprise to say the least and we both enjoyed it very much!
I arrived in Raleigh right on time (5:10pm EST) on Tuesday which was really nice. The flight was long and I couldn’t help but fidget for the last thirty minutes of the flight. The airport was surprisingly small so I didn’t have any trouble getting down to where Reagan was going to pick me up but the silly man was waiting in a different spot then he said so he snuck up behind me and I nearly bopped him in the nose when he hugged me from behind. We ended up then driving around town for nearly an hour to find somewhere to eat we ALWAYS seem to get lost when we are together… but we settled on Outback Steakhouse…. one bowl of clam chowder and a strawberry smoothie later…. I was nearly passed out in the passenger seat of his Honda SI… praying I wouldn’t ruin the upholstery. Sad but true. I felt bad because I had promised him I would be full of energy and there I was feeling ill. But he didn’t seem to mind too much. The hotel was absolutely wonderful! After the two hour drive it was wonderful to stay in the Presidential Suite…. which was a pleasant surprise to say the least and we both enjoyed it very much!
Wednesday and Thursday were pretty nice and easy… we laid in bed till mid morning then spent the day in town and on base. Which I don’t know why he complains so much, Camp Lejeune is actually a very lovely base, with all the old style brick architecture and landscaping and such. But I guess since he’s there all the time it’s a bore. Seeing his barracks was an interesting experience. It was much smaller and arranged very differently then I’d originally thought… and not as clean (lol) but well they are men after all. I got to try on or at least poke at his gear. The helmet was SUPER heavy and so were the flak and Kevlar vest… I don’t know how he wears it on those humps of his. It was also really nice to meet all the men he works with they were really nice (even if his roommates were probably a bit crude) but they were charming none the less. I still can’t stop myself from puffing up a little bit with pride when I think of Reagan as a Marine. He works soo hard and I’m soo proud of him, even if he isn’t!!!! Anyway, in the evenings Reagan and I went out for dinner and wrapped things up with a nice dinner in a restaurant in town and some bubble baths in the whirlpool in our room. I think bubble baths are probably my favorite times with him. Its just so perfect to relax in the warm water and talk to each other and the only things we have to worry about are the bubbles running low or the water getting cold. I most definitely miss those few hours sitting in the tub getting prune-y fingers with him, perhaps sometime we can have bubble baths every night….
Anyway we spend Friday through Sunday in Myrtle Beach. We got lost on the drive AGAIN… cause Reagan and his silly GPS just can’t work well together… but we eventually made it in one piece. It was nice to be near the ocean again it made the muggy North Carolina weather a little more bareable. We stayed at the Sheraton which was another lovely hotel. (We really caught some deals on hotels!) We managed to see a major portion of the sites. The Ripley’s attractions… like the mirror maze… I adored the aquarium! I love them soo much, such beautiful places… we shopped until I was sure Reagan was ready to throw me over the rail at the Boardwalk! We even had time to go to the beach, I got sand everywhere… as usual!
On Saturday night we celebrated our sixth month anniversary a little early (It won’t be until the end of the month though…). We had a lovely diner at the Hard Rock… despite Reagan’s constant complaints… but he was the one who said “I wanna take you to a nice dinner… you know just the two of us…” And he even opted for the location we could have eaten elsewhere… but anyway… back to the point. Dinner was really nice and he had a wonderful gift for me….A pink rose preserved in lacquer and 24 karat gold…. soo beautiful! I felt bad cause I only managed to wear one of his favorite styles of lingerie as a gift for him that night… but I guess it is the thought that counts.
My last day in North Carolina was too short and came all too quickly and from the moment I woke up in Reagan’s arms till the time I was at the airport I was fighting back tears, Reagan told me to stop sniffling… but it didn’t help that he had to remind me he would be heading to Bridgeport soon for what I guess you would call pre-deployment training… well either way the flight home was a long one .
So… that’s really all I can say… I’ve left some of the colorful portions out… so if you want to hear all the hilarity… give me a buzz… cause for some reason blogging in more detail about more isn’t making me any happier…
>
I hope to see him sooner... because its getting harder to say goodbye....
Thursday, August 13, 2009
For Some Reason...
I attempted to work on my North Carolina trip blog today but it just didn't happen... I wrote probably five sentences and just started crying.... I think I'm soo overly hormonal this month its gonna kill me.
Yes I will get around to it... sometime... but for some reason talking about it doesn't bother me it just makes me laugh and smile... maybe its because who ever I'm talking to is right there. So if you wanna know what I did and hear all about it. Call me, or we will have lunch sometime and it will be nice to visit and talk.
I just can work up to writing it... and gaah! I don't know why! Blogging normally makes me feel better.
I think I 'm going to take a nap before dinner... cause I'm just not in a happy mood right now...
Yes I will get around to it... sometime... but for some reason talking about it doesn't bother me it just makes me laugh and smile... maybe its because who ever I'm talking to is right there. So if you wanna know what I did and hear all about it. Call me, or we will have lunch sometime and it will be nice to visit and talk.
I just can work up to writing it... and gaah! I don't know why! Blogging normally makes me feel better.
I think I 'm going to take a nap before dinner... cause I'm just not in a happy mood right now...
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Lookie What Came!
While I was in North Carolina my BODYLINE order came in and my textbooks for my American Lit. class came as well!
I really like the BODYLINE skirt except for the bow which is actually offset so I'm taking it off and making a headbow! WOOT!
Also I have new glasses! YEAH!
Also I have new glasses! YEAH!
PS: BIIIIG NORTH CAROLINA POST coming in the next day or two it makes me cry when I try to write about the wonderful time I had and how much I miss Reagan.... deployment is going to be miserable... but I'll think about that tomorrow....
PPS: Still waiting on the following packages-Kawaii Craving Order-Commissioned JD dress
Monday, August 3, 2009
OH NUU! I Did A Bad Thing!
Yeah... not only did I order a lolita outfit... I ordered it from (dun dun dun dunnna!) BODYLINE... yes yes now before you all shoot me.... This is what I ordered.... it gets something off my wishlist.... 
I mean I guess it isn't too bad.... a bag and skirt for $58.... and I actually really like this print... I think I may take the bow off the front of the skirt if possible and make it into a headpiece.... what do you all think.... a whole outfit for under $60... I'm also looking at buying a simple white skirt... for like $30, its all white so I'm going to get a cute design to embroider on it... I was thinking a kitty or a bunny with some flowers... anyway but perhaps she will go down on the price or knock off the shipping.... we shall see.... cause its a cute skirt but I guess since I ordered this it might be good if I didn't buy it but we will see how low she goes.
So I also just ordered this! Now Phen and I can twin!!! WOOO!!! Total of $36 Shipping included!
PS: So I'm waiting on the following packages:
-Commissioned Jesus Diamante replica (yet to be shipped)
-BODYLINE Order
-Kawaii Craving Order
PPS: I saw Janora and Katie at Ren Fest on Saturday! Katie looks adorable in sweet by the WAY! And Janora I loved the "Peasent Lolita" It was really nice to see you! See ya at the tea!
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