Dreaming in High Heels

HAITUS

2011-09-20T20:44:00.002-06:00

I know I promised everyone a new blog series but my life is just too busy to get out good quality posts.

Real life is getting to be a real issue, with school and now job hunting on my plate as graduation draws ever closer

I'm afraid it will have to wait.

And as such this blog will be on hiatus its too much for be to be updating my Tumblr and this. And the Tumblr interface is very quick and that blog is for things like travel while this is more personal and motivational.

So I will be on haitus here but you can still catch up on Tumblr. There maybe a rare update but it will be just that RARE.

I'm so sorry lovely readers, be well and I will write for you again in the future!

Love,

Lindsey

Whose That Lady?

2011-08-28T17:02:00.002-06:00

Hello my few but faithful followers! I will admit I have been neglecting things here... for my Tumblr.

But fear not! I've decided its time for a new blog series!

This one has a lot to do with my ongoing journey to become a more beautiful, proud and fearless woman!

There are so many women that inspire us in the world we live in now and in days gone by.

BEGINNING THE WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 1st this series will focus on one woman that has a quality that I admire, and for that whole week I will be working on improving that quality in myself.

I can't wait to start this and can't wait to share all the great women that are helping shape me into the young woman I strive to be!

NOTE: This blogger will be devoted to the long winded versions of this series, but if you want a more abbreviated version check out my Tumblr HERE!!!!!!!!

Our first lady is coming soon!!!

Back in the Habit

2011-08-02T21:39:00.003-06:00

So I'm back from Japan! It was a crazy, wild... okay it was pretty tame I was teaching ten hours a day after all! Anyway I'm back in the good ol' US of A and I need something new to blog about as the Fall season and my diet (to loose what I gained in Japan) gets underway.

So its a new blog series... but you will have to wait till my next post before I give you all the juicy details...

BUT I'll give you a hint... its got women, lots of awesome, classy, beautiful and sassy WOMEN!

Talk to you soon!

PS: If you missed out on the Japan adventures, check em out at my Tumblr!! Lord that site is WAAY too much fun!

Oh Akihabara... I do NOT adore thee

2011-05-31T08:21:00.002-06:00

Well I've been in Japan for a week now and I guess the feelings are all starting to sink in.

Today I had a lazy day planned, but low and behold... I changed them and headed on the Yamanote line to Akihabara. The intention was looking for some Bleach character goods for my boyfriend.

The end result left me quite upset.

I got there just fine and aside from really having no huge plan of what to do I went in search of places that sold character goods. You would think there is plenty of those in Akihabara but alas I searched high and low climbed many stairs travelled in many small elevators to no avail. I spoke with about ten different shop staff in stores asking aboud Bleach goods, TWO pointed me to a section that had only like FIVE pieces... which weren't even worth looking at (memo pad and phone straps of obscure characters) Now maybe I wasn't in the right shops but when I finally managed to snag a shop staff for more then two seconds she explained that I probably wouldn't find much that wasn't an expensive collectors item because Bleach was not as popular anymore (GAAAAHHHH!) Really?? All that work for like nothing.

Now maybe I wasn't looking in the right places or asking the write people but by this point I had been out for about three hours with nothing for my boyfriend, and a few volumes of Fullmetal Alchemist fan fiction... yay for improving my kanji!

This while a pressing worry was overshadowed by the other thing that got under my skin. I have been doing very well in Japan so far by not being too much of a "OMG GAIJIN!!" and/ having a huge bubble around me. Yes some people won't sit by me on a train or they hug the other side of the sidewalk when I walk by... or pretend they don't see me and almost hit me with their tiny cars (Thank you man in blue Suzuki while I was going to the store (>x<). But I'd rather be the invisible Gaijin then what I was today.

I was asked I kid you not TEN times to be photographed with! I wasn't dressed up or wearing heavy make or heels or anything, just a cute sweater, coral tank underneath, skinny jeans and sandals! I did nothing to draw attention to myself, I even wore sunglasses (it was sunny).

And yet I was asked by several people (men rather) along the way if they could have my picture. They all muttered something about my hair in broken English, and being on a public street I obliged the first one or two who seemed nice, well my mistake because then apparently I grew a neon sign out of my head that said "NICE BLONDE GAIJIN! WILL TAKE PICTURE WITH YOU!!" It was terrible and exhausting and the second the men got creepy (including a like 50 something business man) I called it a day, ducked into a milk cafe had a pastry and some milk (one guy took a picture of me through the cafe window!!) and I came home,

Empty handed and very unhappy.

I really hate going somewhere and not finding what I want, and then being bothered by people after I'm already frustrated. Just because I'm a visitor to your country with a larger bust then a good percentage of the native female population, and have blonde hair does not give anyone the right to make me a novelty. I know I stand out, but I'm making every effort to fit in, in your country and be a good guest for my visit by speaking the language and not being rude and following customs, so please don't photograph me then go waltz over to your friends bragging how you took my picture and now you are "Oh so cool!" I speak Japanese, well at least enough to understand when I'm being talked about in a not very positive light, no girl appreciates her body being talked about in an impolite way when you think she's not listening.

Thank you,
The Blonde Gaijin

Keeping Up In Japan!

2011-05-31T07:40:00.003-06:00

Hello everyone! I know I've been neglecting you, but that is because I have been in Japan for almost a week now!

I hope everyone is keeping up with my whirlwind adventures on tumblr! If not here it is so you can catch up! Because of internet and time constraints its best for me to post pictures in just one place and unfortunately Tumblr makes is super fast and easy! I posted about TOKYO DISNEY and SHIBUYA today!

http://littledemonpixie.tumblr.com/

Anyway I also want to save this blog as a place where I can talk in detail and share a bit more then on my tumblr. I will probably blog more in the coming weeks as I head north for some volunteering!

JAPAN IS NEARLY HERE!

2011-05-11T08:02:00.002-06:00

I'm getting very excited for Japan in 12 days! Its really hard to focus on my last two finals that are at 12 today.... but anyway!

Don't forget to follow my Tumblr!

http://littledemonpixie.tumblr.com

I will be posting photos everyday I'm able and talk a bit about what I did each day! I may copy the posts here but, I really like the Tumblr format.... Quick and easy!

I will probably devote longer posts and logs of the days activities here and on my livejournal.

But probably the next time you will be reading I will be in Japan!

Going... slowly

2011-04-10T18:23:00.002-06:00

I really will be glad when all this is over. This semester has been quite the ride... I've been up to my ponytail with Japan club stuff. Don't get me wrong, I think fundraising is what we should be doing... but when every waking moment practically is spent with fundraising and other Japan Club activities I find myself wearing down very quickly these days. I'm glad things have slowed down a bit but that means things just have to speed up in another area... and that means I have to get working on school work.... So posts as you can see, will be VERY infrequent in the coming weeks. I will mostly be posting on my Tumblr updates on my planning for my trip to Japan in May, you might catch a rant on these pages but if you wanna see more frequent updates then my tumblr is the place to be. Check it out HERE!

Back from Bean Town!

2011-03-20T09:56:00.004-06:00

I went to Boston for Spring Break. It was wonderful! I arrived on the same day Reagan drove up from base in North Carolina. He moved back to Boston this week. He will be out of the Marine Corps in April! I can't believe its already here! The first several days we just spent getting him moved in, moving furnature, putting away things and cleaning. As well as doing paperwork and getting him applied for college. I hope he gets accepted!

We did lots of things, but not too much overly exciting stuff. We celebrated St. Pats together which was nice! Partied pretty hard though.

We went...

To the Science Museum

-Went to like EVERY mall in Boston! I can't believe I didn't buy much!

-Had dessert at the Melting Pot

-Had Dim Sum in China Town! YUM!!! Chicken feet are soo yummy!

-And a lot of sleeping in and just being with each other!

-Had cake from Fratelli's a yummy Italian bakery! I love cake!!

So without further ado! A picture or two!

Cake from Fratelli's! The Best!

I love the buildings in downtown! Cute houses!

And a picture of the two of us at Melting Pot! YUM!

日本で。。。

2011-03-11T01:31:00.001-07:00

There was a HUGE earthquake in Japan today around Tokyo and it also caused a Tsunami in Northern Japan in the Sendai area.

I'm very worried for all of my friends in both areas and all over Japan right now. I hope everyone is alright.

Please help me send them strength with your thoughts and prayers!

Thank you!!

Measure Twice, Eat Once

2011-03-01T23:19:00.004-07:00

As you all know I'm working on losing weight, here's an update... I lost five pounds... and now its starting to go up again, its like a roller coaster! I forgot how frustrating weight loss can be!

However this week I was a baaad girl... I ate a lot of sweets and foods that I should have said, "No thank you" to. I also bad because I only managed to exercise twice in the WHOLE week... needless to say I feel less then pleased with myself, I'm in that first down of this process... my workout (The 30 day Shred with Jillian Michaels) has gotten really hard and I'm seeing my limits, but I need to keep doing it! I just have to keep it up! I mean I saw a immediate change in that first few weeks where I lost the 5lbs... now I just have to stay motivated and NOT get lazy and eat whatever I want!

I want to make my goals! One of them being to re-create this pinup shot in a vintage photoshoot... when I reach my new weight...

But enough of that!

I also got a Tumblr!! I know another blog right? Well this one will be strictly for photos and my travels! Follow me and see where my high heels are taking me on life's road! I will do my best to post a photo everyday, either of somewhere I've been, will be going, or something that I have stumbled upon! Check it out often!!

HERE'S the link! http://littledemonpixie.tumblr.com/

Eat Your Heart Out!

2011-02-17T10:47:00.003-07:00

So, its been a trying week to say the least.

I've had exams and meetings and drama galor but its Thursday and I'm in need of a break! Unfortunately that won't come till Saturday!

Anyway, Monday was Valentine's Day, and while I was a bit lonely it was a pretty good day, things went along smoothly, just busy. However here comes the day's romantic story!

I was getting read to head to work (from 4pm to Midnight) I had my hand on the door to leave when there was a knock!!! I was like WHOA! I open the door and there is a local florist with a splendid bouquet of red roses and dark pink tigerlilies (I think) waiting for me!! They were from My Marine of course but is was just a really neat way to get them. I almost missed their delivery! Fate is a funny thing sometimes!

Anyhow the rest of the week is progressing, and I'm almost there, I need to write letters this weekend as well as go to tea ceremony (I have a one on one lesson with Ricci-sensei... I'm sorta scared...) and do my homework.

And finally speaking of eating, I had my mid month weigh in and I lost FIVE pounds! I'm so excited that Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred video (SaraMari recommended this and used it on her diet) is working! I do it everyday and it is kicking my butt! But I'm excited about the results so far!

I'm getting better at eating better which is good.

Well now its time to study for a test!

I will be back to blog again soon!!!

Tipping the scale

2011-01-20T12:56:00.003-07:00

So to keep in line with my goals for this year (I'm doing them on a month to month basis instead of a drawn out resolution) I really want to loose weight and reach 135lbs. I've been weighing myself on the scale at my parents home all my life, and just the other day I had a very discouraging realization...

That scale is off by about 20lbs!!! I shouldn't be surprised, but every time I went to the doctor they never said "Your current weight is..." it was just "Well you could loose a few pounds".

It was extremely discouraging to have a BRAND NEW scale of my own and see the number 160lbs staring me in the face.

I want to be happy with my body and I need to focus on my actual body measurements in addition to my weight... it was really surprising because as soon as I saw that new number, the image of what I looked like in the mirror totally changed... I was like, I can see why eating disorders are such an issue, when one little number can make me feel so uncomfortable with myself and see not a "healthy young lady" but the "chubby girl" of yesteryear... was really just well surprising!

On the plus side, I am still confident that as I continue to exercise and eat better I can loose the 25lbs and for perhaps the first time in many years I will be able to love myself inside and out.

I'm ready to do this for MYSELF and no one else!! Drop dead gorgeous here I come!!!!

IT'S HERE!

2011-01-09T16:13:00.004-07:00

THE NEW YEAR!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
あけましておめでとうございます！！！

Even though its almost the middle of January! Oops!

I hope the holidays treated you well. Mine were pretty close to perfect, I just returned from a 12 day trip to Boston, MA to visit Mr. Marine in his hometown! It was soo much fun and I wish I could post pictures but unfortunatly you will have to visit my Facebook to see them because the internet is so slow here! Here's two and a list of things I did while there!

-Spent two days in a lovely lovebird sort of getaway in Cape Cod

-Had New Year's Eve Dinner at the Melting Pot... YUMMY!

-Had my first real New Year's Kiss at midnight on the boardwalk of Boston Harbor lit by fireworks! Beat that Hollywood! It was magical!

-Celebrated my Marine's birthday... it was early but we were together!

-Had a drink in the bar "Where everybody knows your name!" CHEERS!

-Visited the New England Aquarium

-Toured Cape Cod Beer and Samuel Adams Breweries! Don't say no to free beer! And a cute glass to take home!

-Ate in an Irish Pub, Doyles! It was yummy!

-Rode a Party Trolley!

-Visited the Isabella Stuart Gardner Museum: No pictures of course but there was enough tapestry, mideval and French art to make me practically jump up and down squealing with delight... I wish Gab's could have come... we'd probably still be there. I couldn't buy a photobook or anything... cause the gift shop was being remodeled... oh well I just have to go back! Visit them here: http://www.gardnermuseum.org/

-Went on dates with Reagan! Wow! It was wonderful to actually be doing couple things, like dinner, movies and such.

-Went ice skating in Boston Common: He fell twice but I didn't fall once!!!

-Ate more Italian cakes then is probably healthy for my waistline! But soooo delicious!!

-Shopping shopping shopping, but only a little buying thank goodness!!

-Ate chicken feet and shark fin soup! They were both delicious!!!!

And most importantly... I got to spend some quality time with Reagan... there was copious amounts of snuggling!

It was a wonderful trip and I can't wait till I can see him again!!!

PS: I'm not making New Year's Resolutions, I'm just making reachable goals for this year, taking it one month at a time! I will blog about them next time!

List of the Year!

2010-12-21T17:09:00.004-07:00

I'm updating, it seems like a small miracle in itself considering the whirlwind my life has turned into. So rather then trying to chronologically organize what has happened since my last post we are going to make a list of what has happened and what to expect. Subsequent posts will be prodominately pictures with some talk about the events, they may or may not be in order... in all honestly I'm just trying to clambor back of to the top of the hill of life!

WHAT HAS HAPPENED:

-I was able to spend some time with my grandmother before she passed away in mid-November, I am grateful for your thoughts and prayers, and even more thankful that the Lord has taken her to a better place.

-I spent Thanksgiving in San Deigo... I accomplished one of the items on my Life Long To-Do List... I saw the PANDAS at the San Diego Zoo!!!! I only took like 300 photos of their pudgy cuteness.

-I visited a mission in Calfornia, San Juan Capistrano, it was a breathtaking experience, something that I will blog about it once I take time to fully contemplate the experience.

-I was able to spend a whole week with Mr. Marine. It was a wonderful week... my cousin Annette says that long distance relationships are the best... "It really is a series of honeymoons and fairytale endings" And I totally agree with her.

-I was able to do one of my favorite things with Reagan, walk together... I miss it so much its nice to just hold hands and slowly stroll in the moonlight... or sit by a fire outside... even though its cold.

-I made it through my junior year of college. I will be a senior next semester! I recieved A's in both Chaucer and Shakespeare! And while not A's I recieved B+'s in my Phonology and Morphology grad level course and Japanese! I worked hard and it payed off!

-I said goodbye to all my lovely friends from Japan its always sad to see them go, but I look forward to seeing them this summer!

-I have stepped up as the President of the Japan Club... it is something I have wanted for quite sometime... I was happy to have our former President but yes I was a bit disappointed I didn't have a shot in the beginning, but now I will make the most of this opportunity...

-However in recent events I think a friendship was permently broken, but I'm not sure if it was truely a friendship or not.

-I saw BLACK SWAN with Gabs. It was INCREDIBLE!!!!! Everyone GO! See it NOW!!!

WHAT IS HAPPENING:

-I'm back at home spending some much needed time with my family. My mother is struggling over the loss of her own mother, but I am happy to be here, and to the best we can to make the holidays happy.

-I'm getting excited for Christmas

-I'm busting a move on some scholarship stuff, and getting my Japan Club and academic ducks in a row!

-I'm preparing for a trip to Boston to see Reagan... I can't wait! I get to meet his parents and see the big ol' city of Boston! I can hardly wait the remaining SEVEN days!!!

-I'm going after Christmas shopping with Anna a Japanese exchange student it will be tons of fun!

WHAT WILL BE HAPPENING:

-I will begin making plans to travel to Japan in the summer, as well as saving money for said trip.

-I will be applying to attend Midori Kai tea school in Kyoto Japan after my graduation

-I will be taking 16 credit hours next term

-I will reach my wieght goal of becoming something between a size 7 to a 9!!

-Mr. Marine, will no longer be a Marine... that's gonna be a big change for us both!

-I will be changing the name of my blog

As you can see, my life is full of change and its coming at rapidfire! And even though somethings haven't gone well, I'm going to take one of my favorite heroine's advice,

"I'll think about that tomorrow... after all tomorrow is another day"

Love and best wishes this holiday season... and I hope you all take a few hours to relax, take a deep breath and enjoy something truely beautiful in what little remains of this year.

UPDATE:

2010-12-07T12:17:00.001-07:00

I know it seems like I have fallen off the edge of the Earth... and I kinda have. Its been horrible, hectic, and a whirlwind of laughter, saddness and hopes.

I will post copiously in two weeks to make up for this and get you all caught up on my life!!

Hang tight! I'll be back from the World's End soon!

Could you...

2010-11-10T10:07:00.004-07:00

In the past couple of days I have had some devestating news about my grandmother. She went into the hospital on Monday, for some pain in her side. They found a tumor in her colon. Thankfully it wasn't blocking anything, but I just got a call from my mom saying that she has a bacteria that was caused by the tumor that they can't do much to treat. They also declared her unfit for surgery based on her other health problems and her age. She has currently been moved to a hospis where they are making her comfortable.

I am planning to be flying out in the coming days (Saturday) so that I can spend some time with her.

However I would also greatly appreiciate it if you would keep my grandmother in your thoughts and prayers. I'm not well stocked in faith but I would greatly appreicate it if you would help me let God know our family's desire for her to be comfortable and as happy as she can before she returns to Him.

This will be hard, and I am hoping I can count on you for some support along the way. I'm doing my best to be strong for me and my family but I may need a hand to hold to help me get there.

So. Change In Plans

2010-11-07T09:24:00.000-07:00

Class seems like its nearly killing me! So much work but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, graduation is just over a year away! But I will be thankful for Thanksgiving break with Reagan and my family in San Diego!

I've been pretty negligent in my posting here my blogger but yesterday I had tea ceremony (at Tom's outdoor tea room it was a beautiful autmn day PERFECT for tea!! I wanted to cry it was so perfect!) and because of it I think I'm about to make a huge life decision.

As you all know, I've been wanting to teach in Japan for so long and I'm actually getting excited to teach as I work more with students, like those in the IEP here at CSU. I know it will be totally different in Japan but I really wanna do this.

That being said, yesterday's tea conversation turned to the Midori Kai Tea School and their scholarship for foreign tea students. There has been a little conversation about it with Mike-先生 and Christy-先生 has spoken of it, and I've always thought it was a neat opportunity, as I really am developing a passion for Japanese Tea Ceremony. However yesterday really has convinced me that its something I feel I should pursue further... like apply for it, further. Everyone in the tea group (at least those present) support the idea, including Mike who seemed really excited that I want to apply.

I would spend a year in Kyoto tuition, room, board, meals and living expenses covered (1,000 dollars a month), and everyday of that year I would spend every waking moment with tea. Mike said it would be difficult especially for the women as we live in a dormitory with pretty strict rules (like a curfew), and do a lot of cleaning but that wouldn't really bother me.

I would be in KYOTO of all places!!! This is a place in Japan that has really fascinated me, there is just so much tradition and a uniqueness that I can't place on anywhere else. I would get to experience so much and be in the company of some of the most talented people in our tea lineage. Also Sayumi lives there! I would get to see her like all the time, and I do miss her soo much.

Another thing aside from the aspect of studying a new found passion, once that year is up, I may take an apprenticeship with a sweet shop in Kyoto (if possible), since the sweets are one of my favorite things about tea. There is a tea teacher in Boston who when I go to visit Reagan I may have a chance to meet, and he is an expert in making sweets) So that would put me at least a year and a half from teaching in Japan which was my original plan. However I feel that I just can't pass this up and it seems like the perfect time for me to take on a challenge like this. I would be in Japan regardless, just instead of working I would be pursuing a passion.

I'm pretty sure my parents would say go for it because they always support me (and I love them for that) and I know I can count on Reagan to support me, he doesn't understand I don't think but he's happy when I'm happy and is always willing to understand and support me. So I guess I have to break the news. I've been thinking about it for awhile and now with only a year of school left I think now its time to start working towards it.

So much for having plans right?

Getting Dolled Up!

2010-10-30T12:21:00.004-06:00

So as I'm sure you can tell life has been keeping me so busy that I can barely catch up let alone blog. But today as I have barracaded myself in my apartment for some studying and such I am taking a short break to post a little of what I've been up to.

A few weeks ago CSU's ASAP and CSU Swing Society hosted a concert with Big Bad Voodoo Daddy as the headliner! It was wonderful and while swing isn't my favorite it was a lot of fun dancing the night away. Gab's and I even ventured to dress up vintage for the event!

On the 23rd of this month I attended the Wild Goose Masqarude Ball with Gab's and some friends. This was much more to my taste as far as dancing goes... and I love polkas and fast waltz! But a note to self make sure you get the dress done well ahead of the day. Sewing on trim three hours before is no fun. And my hair was delightful!

Yesterday our tiny apartment was filled to the brim with Japanese exchange students and Japanese language students for a pumpkin carving/Halloween party! It was lots of fun and I will post pictures in another post early next week.

Tonight in North Carolina is Mr. Marine's last USMC Birthday Ball, this time next year he will be a college student and working towards becoming an officer in the Air Force. Its so odd thinking that soon he won't be a Marine anymore... well officially, am I ready to make this transition and such a big life step with him? I honestly can't say, I'm pretty scared for the future, but I really should focus on today, and maybe just tomorrow and let things come as they may.

Well that's really all I have time to chat about, its time to hit the books yet again! And I'm thinking of changing the name of this blog... any suggestions?

PS: It looks like I'm gaining weight... I need to get back into the gym.... sigh.

Chaji

2010-10-10T09:09:00.004-06:00

Yesterday, like many of my Saturdays I woke up early and did some errands with Gabs, this weeks errands were these, lovely cream gloves for the traditional Ball on the 23rd of this month. The local vintage store had a lovely gold pair however they were just a tad too tight. These will go perfectly with my rich crimson dress (which I still have barely to start on)

And then the afternoon. I ventured to my Tea Ceremony teacher's house where there was a a couple of fantastic surprises, not only were Sara, Zelly, Tony, Roy and Mike there, the wonderful Christy先生 from the San Francisco tea group was there and we were all dressed to the nines in kimono. It was a wonderful experience to practice the most formal tea gathering a Chaji together. It was something I had never experienced before and while it was a dry run so all of our lovely meal was effortless and invisible I still found much to look forward too. My eyes were opened to lacquerware and how extensive the amount is needed for this event, and all new ettiquete even two different types of chopsticks.

It is always a magical experience learning under my teacher and then the added treat of Christy先生's overflowing knowledge practically astounds me. She has the perfect answer for almost any situation and there is always an exciting story to go with what we are doing. Not to mention how involved she is with tea, she's met people in the tea world that I can only hope to sneak a peek at. Doing tea with her makes me want set everything aside and apply for the Midori Kai Tea School, maybe I will save for a couple of years and then apply... it seems like such a wonderful way to put a solid foundation to my tea studies. I miss basking in the knowledge of others.

The practice while knowledgeable was exhausting as well. I have little bruises (battle wounds) from sitting seiza, but that is part of the territory and the aches afterwards are always worth it. Yesterday I also had a wonderful suprise, a member from our group Tom recently spent a few days in Kyoto, and Mike先生 presented me with a Kobukusa that Tom had selected (Tom couldn't be there yesterday) It was beautiful I actually teared up it was so suprising to be given such a lovely gift when I felt I did nothing to deserve it. It is overwhelming the amount of kindess and respect that people in tea have, I can only hope to gain some of that and bring it into my own life. I need to research the name of the gorgeous pattern 先生offered to tell me but it will be more meaningful to me I think if I look it up myself, my group has done so much for me already

What's Keeping Me Busy!

2010-09-19T09:13:00.003-06:00

Once again fall semester is proving to be a whirlwind for me again.

So far I've been scrambling to stay afloat in all my classes, its the Japanese that's killing me. (I spend more time studying for this class which is in my minor then all my reading and homework for Chaucer, Shakespeare and Phonology combined) Beecken-sensei's expectations are so high and even when I do my best work I still feel a bit ashamed that its not going to be good enough.

And we have our inclass composition which is essentially a research paper in Japanese that we have to write in class. I'm scared.

Last weekend I went to the Nan Desu Kan (the Denver Anime Convention) It was really laid back I only had one cosplay (which was photographed ALOT) that Gabs and I stayed up on like three nights finishing but it looked great! Gabs is always such a lovely friend. A photo of the finished product... and a panda for good measure.

Our next sewing project is a Regency style gown for the Fall Ball! I'm excited for it to turn out! Think Charlotte Bingley of Pride and Prejudice. Very excited!!

Mr. Marine and I fought pretty badly about a week ago. It was horrible and I don't really want to eleaborate too much but it was a productive fight. We addressed some of the awkward elephants in our relationship. And now we are as happy as can be for the moment. Dealing with plans for the future is tough! His enlistment is up this Spring so we are working on what is to happen next together. Its a big step for him and I hope everything will work out alright!

This weekend has been rather easy, I read my Shakespeare aloud to Gabs while she baked an apple pie! And then we spent the evening watching Phantom of the Opera and Pearl Harbor which she had never seen before! We decided we need to watch Flags of Our Fathers and Letters from Iwo-Jima. Which are probably the most wonderful... in a way of war films I have ever seen!

Well its time for me to get ready for a tea ceremony event so its time to pull out my yukata and brush up on sitting seiza!

NEXT POST: My beloved Fernando... Repotted

Colorado Girls

2010-09-09T12:56:00.000-06:00

I knew someone was bound to do this! GO COLORADO!!!

My Marine Comes to Colorado!

2010-09-02T09:02:00.007-06:00

Okay so this maybe a little long winded, and its way overdue. IMAGE HEAVY!!!

So on August the 12th my Marine came for a visit! As always it was a glorious experience, but I really loved it more because he stayed at the house with my family! I think he found it a bit uncomfortable though. Oh how I love him for putting up with me! Anyway, I really enjoyed having a week where it was more like a traditional “courtship” instead of feeling like an old married couple (you know get up together and go to bed together sort of thing) which don’t get me wrong, I loved, but at the same time this new twist on our relationship I thought was a lot of fun and enjoyable, I don’t think he felt the same though, even though he kept assuring me he was having a good time.

So some of the things we did… because being outside in the Colorado Summer is the BEST!

Went to the zoo…

Took the COG Railway up to the top of PIKES PEAK, donuts at 14,000ft…. delicious!

Hiked in Garden of the Gods

Ventured to Denver for the planetarium and PURIKURA!

My family also hosted a BBQ so that some of my family-like friends could meet him which was a ton of fun, but afterwards Reagan and I passed out and took a nap for like two hours! Oops!

Also sorry there aren’t fun outfits and GAL, when he visits I think he likes it when I keep it to an minimum because it takes me awhile to get “beautiful” that and we were spending A LOT of time outside so GAL isn’t so much fun when hiking and getting dirty and such, at least I don’t think so.

After those few peaceful days he made the trek to Ft. Collins with me to help me move into my new apartment! We went to the drive in movie theater (Saw Despicable Me and Inception which was epic!) got moved in and just sort of puttered around and lazed about in bed all day.

This was the last few days of his trip…. And it always puts me in a strange mood. Instead of crying when he left I was able to smile and wave… because I cried the night before. I think it is getting easier for me to say goodbye because I know that we are strong and will see each other again soon…. Well that is unless he gets picked for this boarder patrol thing where he could be in the Middle East for 2 months to 2 years… that I think would be really unbearable….

But I don’t want to think about that right now. For now I’m looking forward to the family vacation in November that he is coming along on! San Diego look out! Papa and Mama Bear are coming to see the PANDAS!!!!!!!

Sooo Behind!

2010-08-28T08:00:00.009-06:00

So I've been meaning to blog but with everything going on in my life I barely have time to take pictures let alone blog! However first I wanna thank Thanh Thao for her lovely giveaway last month! And look at what I won! Deco supplies YAY! I wrote a nice thank you note that is on its way to Germany! By the way I wish I had enough readers to do a giveaway it would be fun! But alas I don't have any cute things from Japan for a giveaway...

Classes have started up again and I moved into a new apartment! Here is my room! Not all the posters are on the walls yet but I will get there!

Also this year's cosplay for NDK is underway I am doing Rangiku Matsumoto from Bleach! Should be pretty simple apart from the hakama pants but we will see.

Next Post: About Mr. Marine's visit to Colorado!

Cosplay: Just a Thought....

2010-08-07T15:20:00.012-06:00

So lately I've found myself browsing the cosplay sites again. (If you don't know what cosplay is the wiki page is an okay place to start http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cosplay ) As if I don't have enough with developing my gyaru style

I mean I used to really enjoy it, as I looove to sew, but over the last few years I was discouraged by the many people who were abusing the hobby and not putting enough effort into creating a beautiful costume. Not to mention I've had several outfits ruined by inconsiderate anime and comic fans, and convention goers that it just made me loose heart.

I still have a dream to go to Comic Con (HUUUGE Convention in Cali) and maybe someday I will, but I thought I would just take a few minutes about my cosplay musings... should I get back into it? And if so anyone have suggestions of what I should do?

Riza Hawkeye (I've done her before and have had good reception as I've been told I look a lot like her... if you can look like a character... but also my personality apparently is a good match... and she is one of my all time faves!)

Princess Aurora: My fave Disney Princess!

Charlotte Le Bouf from the Princess and the Frog: I know that if my family had stayed in the South... yeah she's what I would have been. And of course it would be her ball gown as the costume.

The Twi'lik dancers from Star Wars... because the challenge of the outfits and head pieces as well as a chance to airbrush my body blue or green totally intrigues me! Oh and I definately need to keep hittin the gym for these!

And Reagan wants me to someday attempt these. (>o<); Good thing I know some friends who do armor and leather work! And my lady crush on Lucy Lawless... totally resurfaced... Damn!

Well enough of that... tell me what you think. Should I get back into it or should I say screw it!

Pages of Summer: The Stepford Wives

2010-08-05T19:43:00.002-06:00

Sorry it has taken so long to have this posted, but here goes.

THE STEPFORD WIVES:
SUMMARY: Written in 1975 this novel follows a family that has recently moved into the seemingly perfect and quiet town of Stepford. Our heroine the shutterbug and reasonably active feminist initially seems quite at ease in her bigger than expected home, typical family and loving husband, but as the days turn into weeks and her new acquaintances slowly go from active and vocal modern women to perfectly shaped, girdle wearing and floor waxing housewives. Our heroine quickly becomes suspect of the whole town and the controlling Men’s Club in a satire that hardly has the victorious ending that we would like to expect from a text that appears so short and sweet.

POINTS OF INTEREST: There are two films based off of this short work. One from 1975 and the most recent in 2004, while I have seen both of these I can’t say that they were among the tops of my list. However the 1975 version certainly left you with that tingly feeling on your skin, you know the eerie on that sort of makes you shudder??

If you are looking for more Ira Levin give a good look to Rosemary’s Baby, it’s a little hair-raising but quite a delight for a read!

WHY MY HEART BEATS FOR THIS TEXT: For starters it was a short novel; I was amazed how much could be packed into so few pages. I took it along as my reading initially for the gym (as Fox News hardly sparks my interest) and found I had completed it the following afternoon. I must say that I haven’t spent much time in works published between 1950 and 1980 but I certainly would recommend this as a quick and thought provoking read that shows the contradictions that women were facing as they set one foot out the kitchen door and the other into that of the office.

WHAT'S UP NEXT: Peony in Love by Lisa See

APOLOGIES!: Quick Update!

2010-07-24T20:38:00.002-06:00

Wow! The days are whipping by me at a rate that I can't even imagine! I'm so sorry for not updating but in the struggle to find a place to live in the coming days before school to a family trip to MO, I've got my hands more than full! So when I get back from MO, here's what to expect!

UPDATES:
I have two books for my "Pages of Summer" Blog series (Stepford Wives and Peony In Love)

Life Update: Who I've seen whose coming to see me, status of my new place of residence.

GAL: Probably and outfit post, and I maybe able to sneak in a tutorial but that's a BIIIG Maybe!!

I hope everyone's summer's are fantastic!

Pages of Summer: Jane Eyre

2010-06-29T15:51:00.002-06:00

Hello everyone, if you are just joining the ride, this is the third installment in my blog series Pages of Summer, where I am tracking and commenting on the books I'm curling up with on a break from university!

So here we go!

THE BOOK: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

THE SUMMARY: This novel might best fall under a sort of Gothic rags to riches romance. We follow an orphaned Ms. Jane Eyre, through her trials and tribulations as a dependent, her harsh schooling and ultimately her career as a governess in 19th century England. However unlike the fairy tales, Prince Charming is the dark and brooding Mr. Rochester of an estate that has fallen to some extent by the wayside. Unfortunately what sounds like a perfect rise up from gloom love story, is quickly turned on its head when our rather plain yet witty Ms. Eyre begins to find things are not as they seem at Thornfield, and what you think is just a rumor turns out to be quite the ghost story. Have no fear however, despite its twists and dark ventures there is a happy ending… in a way.

THAT’S WHAT HE/SHE SAID:
"I had not intended to love him; the reader knows I had wrought hard to extirpate from my soul the germs of love there detected; and now, at the first renewed view of him, they spontaneously arrived, green and strong! He made me love him without looking at me." -Jane (Ch. 17)

"I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you--especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly." -Mr. Rochester, Chapter 23, pg. 221

POINTS OF INTEREST:
Recently in the line of the Jane Austen revival I saw this title on the bookshelf “Jane Slayre” Hmm it puts our lovely governess in the line of demons, ghosts and vampire hunting, I wonder how it works out, I think I will pick it up when I have a spare day, there is one scene in the original work that makes me curious as to where the inspiration for this mash up came from.

While I have yet to view any of the films or copious miniseries for this novel, my thought on first impression would be to certainly watch the 1996 film directed by Franco Zeffirelli (Tea with Mussolini etc.) The cast seems to fit my mind’s eye, well sorta, of the characters and I always have a bit of an issue when poor casting gets in the way of a story, but perhaps I have an over active imagination hmm? I have a mix of Alan Rickman and Matthew Macfayden, oh and a splash of Pre-Code Era Clark Gable *swoons* (sorry my inner movie buff is showing!) in my mind as Mr. Rochester!!! I think the 1996 version will definitely play up the romance and DOWN on the dark, its offered in a recent release, in a boxed set with the film Emma (with Gwyneth Paltrow….) If that has anything to do with your choice, it does affect mine…

So if you are looking for accuracy I would shoot for the BBC TV-miniseries version released in 2006. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE the BBC for doing this with classic novels? I will view both and let me know if you want my opinion! I hope they both please in their own way!

WHY MY HEART BEATS FOR THIS TEXT: I really gushed on Wuthering Heights, and unfortunately that gushing is still coming FULL force! My heavens I don’t even know where to start (perhaps that’s why it has taken me so long to get around to this blog post…. Sowwy). Initially I really couldn’t get over the similar dark and gloom filled as well as passionate writing styles of the Bronte sisters. But then I was like duh. They were quite close, but you can tell in the little details, Emily a little more vague in places and Charlotte, a tad more grotesque when it comes to making images of terror. Also if you don’t speak French you may want to brush up! I was rather excited that I only needed to read the conversations in French once and the meaning was all intact in my mind! Got to love old literature for assuming EVERYONE speaks French.

However it really is the story I can’t get enough of, no wonder it’s fallen into our canon of literature. I really relish in the struggle for romance, without all the silliness and smut of modern romance novels. Its sophisticated, well articulated, well paced and pulls all the right heart strings. I shed a few tears while reading it, and I haven’t cried over a book in a looooooooooooong time. I know I can read this over and over again and find news things, I was so excited to read it all the way through I mildly ignored my boyfriend, skipped two meals and didn’t lift my pencil once to write a note of analysis in the margins… and you all know how I love to annotate. (Well maybe you don’t but take one look at my books and you will, my favorite volumes are coming apart and have so much pencil and highlighter that they glow in the dark.

WHAT AM I READING NEXT (OR RATHER NOW): The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin

日本語のブログ

2010-06-24T16:00:00.001-06:00

I decided I needed more practice for my Japanese, so I started a blog on a popular Japanese blog site Ameblo, to practice!

http://ameblo.jp/littledemonpixie/

Amazement of the Day!

2010-06-23T16:18:00.001-06:00

This one woman wore one dress for a whole year to raise money for kids to go to school! She paired it with donated items to make 365 DIFFERENT outfits! DANG! She is definately giving support to the theory that if you have the basics and good accessories you can acheive nearly any awesome look! Check it out!!

http://www.theuniformproject.com/

Three a Day.... Yeah...

2010-06-21T14:34:00.002-06:00

I know this is my third post today but I'm UPDATING!!!
HERE'S WHAT'S TO COME!!!!!

Tomorrow: Pages of Summer: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Sometime this week: Life in General Update

Sometime soon: A tutorial or two

Mini Meet-Up: Manitou Edition!

2010-06-21T14:23:00.005-06:00

This past Friday evening I went out with some of the Colorado Springs Lolitas, but I didn't do Lolita I did GYARU this time! It was a lot of fun, my outfit wasn't really anything to fuss over but I loved my hair and make, as well as my new lenses! It was soo much fun, as always we had about twenty people ask us why we were dressed up, and about fifty just rudely staring. We are used to it by now! LOL

We had crepes at a new creperie down there! I had a savory crepe with ham eggs and tomatoes! YUM!! I haven't tried their sweet crepes but I think my mom and I will go, and have a girl's day out and do that! After the crepes it was the arcade for derby racing and skee-ball! WOO! We managed to get enough tickets to get matching little rings! Tons of fun!

So here are some pics! My GAL look is getting better every time! I'm really excited!

First Time: Geo Circle Lenses OL-103

2010-06-21T14:14:00.003-06:00

So I ordered my first pair of circle lenses from Geo Eye Candy here on blogspot... and I'm pretty impressed! The effect is great. I ordered a non prescription pair of their OL-103 green lenses. They didn't quite match my eye color exactly but I loved the effect!! It was odd having the lenses in at first, even though I wear regular contacts all the time, and after several hours my eyes started to itch a bit but that might have been the pollen and my make too! LOL!

But the lenses! I ordered them on like a Thursday they were shipped on like Friday or Saturday and made it to me like on Monday or Tues (forgot which day) But still I was DAMN! That's fast! I also ordered a pair for Phen and her's look great too!

So pics! Sorry no comparison ones just yet... the difference in Iris size is sorta scary, but you all know what I look like without em!

Pages of Summer: Wuthering Heights

2010-06-10T18:40:00.003-06:00

THE BOOK: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

THE SUMMARY (SparkNotes totally writes these better! But I’ll practice): Quite simply this novel traces the tragic downfall of one family that resides in the Wuthering Heights estate. But the romance between the wealthy somewhat spoiled Catherine and the adopted orphan christened Heathcliff. We follow them through a dark and gloomy childhood an even darker and manipulative adulthood filled with death, hauntings, madness and ultimately the decay of a family on the wild moors of England.

THAT’S WHAT HE/SHE SAID:

“"They DO live more in earnest, more in themselves, and less in surface, change, and frivolous external things. I could fancy a love for life here almost possible; and I was a fixed unbeliever in any love of a year's standing."

"'And I pray one prayer--I repeat it till my tongue stiffens--Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living; you said I killed you--haunt me, then! The murdered DO haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts HAVE wandered on earth. Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad! Only DO not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! It is unutterable! I CANNOT live without my life! I CANNOT live without my soul!'"

POINTS OF INTEREST:
When the novel was initially published, it was believed that her brother Branwell (a drunk and a believed opium addict) published the work.
Emily Bronte’s sister Charlotte edited Wuthering Heights after her sisters death, as the initial additions were riddled with errors, and in Charolette’s introduction she expresses concern in the reception of the novel, and that her sister was insane for writing it.
Recently there is a Wuthering Heights Twilight comparison edition. I haven’t touched it… I mean really?! I just don’t see how they compare… but that raging is for another day…
In the 1939 film the story was moved forward about 40 years and the costumes were those of the early Victorian era, even though many writers about the film say that film was set in the Georgian period (which was before the Regency period (in which it is originally set). Weird….
With that being said (my facts being doubled checked via TCM movie network) watch the 1939 film. While rather different from the book there are several scenes that every time I read the novel (as I’ve now read it four times) always cross my mind. And you get some time with Mr. Laurence Olivier… and that’s not so bad is it?

WHY MY HEART BEATS FOR THIS TEXT: For starters, its dark. Really dark. I mean when I originally picked it up for class I was like… meh it can’t be that bad… it’s only considered a Gothic novel, but really? My mind was a little fuzzy from the very first time I came in constant with this novel, in middle school (I barely read halfway through an abridged edition. Horrifying I know) But after having read it for my Literary Critisim course this year, and again for pleasure, I get a little giddy at the darkness. It really is amazing how Bronte writes in such a way that you can draw the gruesomeness out every word. One scene that really got me to that point was actually in the beginning of the novel, where our “outsider” narrator, Lockwood is visited by the ghost of Catherine Earnshaw. The image made my skin get all goose bumpy. The novel is definitely one of those that you cannot just look away from. It really makes you wonder how dysfunction can function. The relationship you develop with the characters, at least for me is an interesting one. I felt a roller coaster, of pity, disgust, happiness (rarely), anger and a torrid of other uneasy feelings while reading. However I never faced boredom. If you want a a bit of a mental struggle I would say read it, especially if you have a bit of a dark side, but if you have a light constitution be wary and probably only read it in the day time.

WHAT AM I READING NEXT (OR RATHER NOW): Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Pages of Summer: Pride and Prejudice

2010-06-08T19:48:00.012-06:00

BLOG SERIES TWO: PAGES OF SUMMER! FIRST POST!!!

THE BOOK: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, and as a bonus… Pride Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

THE SUMMARY (SparkNotes totally writes these better! But I’ll practice): Published in 1813 this is perhaps one of Jane Austen’s most famous novels. Set in Regency era England, we meet the Bennet family, namely one Elizabeth Bennet. The novel follows the plight of women at the time. Making a suitable match. We see the ups and down of the shy and yet endearing relationship of Ms. Jane Bennet and the wealthy Mr. Bingley. But the story that really draws this novel to the forefront is the roller coaster romance between Elizabeth and the brooding Mr. Darcy. Initially the only sparks that fly are witty and certainly make a zing when they hit their mark, but in following these two it seems impossible that those sparks should eventually warm the hearts of both parties.

All that excitement got your bustle in a bunch… well wait until Mr. Grahame-Smith throws zombies into the mix!

THAT’S WHAT HE/SHE SAID:
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.” –Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth on the origin of his love.
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.” –Opening narration of Pride Prejudice and Zombies

POINTS OF INTEREST:
Watch the adaptations: Namely the most recent. 2005’s blockbuster starring Kiera Knightly and the dashingly handsome Matthew Macfayden. Darcy’s confession, not totally accurate, but just beautiful cinematography throughout!!! Visually stunning!!! LOVE IT! And the 1995 British TV miniseries with the ever wonderful Colin Firth, and watch the miniseries if not only for the visual yummies but for that one scene, white shirt, pond… oh yes Mr. Darcy! *hits pause on the remote* The UK has also recently mothered a miniseries called Lost in Austen… pretty good, not great but enjoyable.
Follow the side trails: Much like my mention of adding Zombies to the mix try some other fun times on for size, numerous volumes of sequels have been printed with the renewed love of this classic. Or try a fun choose your own adventure, Lost in Austen by Emma Campbell Webster is a fun way to pass a wintery evening or two.

WHY MY HEART BEATS FOR THIS TEXT: Where do I even start! We can set aside the fact that I’m as HOPELESS of a romantic as they come, in my tastes of what to read. I have to say I love everything about this novel… okay not everything Mr. Collins can throw himself off the nearest cliff, but overall, major love for this work. I think I mostly speak to the visuals from this book, Austen is really particular in building a surrounding and I don’t exactly mean from describing the setting but her narration really draws you in and the character descriptions and commentary are splendid. I think like many great novels, it is the characters that keep you hooked. Pride and Prejudice is no exception, I’ve read the novel a few times now and each time I turn the pages with anticipation for the next words to come flying from the mouth of Elizabeth or the splendid telling of events. Austen really makes the glue from a linguistic point of view for the time, between her and the Bronte sisters I get giddy with the language. There is something about that rather prescriptive and “polite” English of the era that just makes me was to giggle with delight, but perhaps its just me!

One word. Zombies. Can I thank the muses for these wonderful undead creatures… or some nerdy kiddo in his basement? Either way some of my favorite things have risen from the dead (okay to some extent I’m kidding). You need to take this adaptation with rock salt. It isn’t quality literature even though Ms. Austen is infused almost seamlessly throughout. I was a little wary at first of Elizabeth and the other girls Bennet being armed with muskets and machetes, and distributing kick ass martial arts like calling cards, but taking it at face value for sheer suspension of disbelief it’s a blast! Complete with illustrations (everyone loves pictures). Pick this novel up for a good all be it mildly gory thrill. And people, there’s a film in the works for it! I smell some twisted awesomeness coming our way!!!

WHAT AM I READING NEXT (OR RATHER NOW): Here’s what to come, I think Wuthering Heights is up next. I finished it at essentially the beginning of the summer, but its another novel that’s too good NOT to share!

PS: Lemme know what you think of the book!!! Pride and Prejudice that is!

Pages of Summer: New Book Smell!

2010-06-07T16:51:00.004-06:00

So because I have found a suprising amount of time on my hands this summer so far... (Don't get me wrong I'm still REALLY busy) I've decided to treat myself. To some good Old Fashioned novels. Classics to be exact.

So much like my shoe blog from WAAAAY back I've decided to start another blog series. I'm hoping to catch up on a lot of reading this summer, and I've been on a Classical or Canon Literature binge! As an English major I'm concerned that a lot of us aren't really keeping an appreication for literature and worlds of days gone by, so I really wanna sink my teeth into some fun and dusty volumes for a change!
Not all of the books will be "classics" so I guess its more just to trace my summer reading!

Each post will include the book, a quick summary, fun quote, what I thought of the book (what sets it apart, motifs etc.), and maybe a few interesting facts along the way!

SO be on the lookout for what I've read so far!
Pride and Prejudice.... (Will most likely post this tomorrow) This one will have a special treat!
Wuthering Heights: (Actually had to read it for a class but re-read it week before last)
Jane Eyre: (Finished this one last week! Can't wait to write about it!!)

Sound like a good way to spend the summer? I thought so! I hope some of you readers will maybe pick up a book that I read as well this summer! Stimulating conversation is always wanted with me! So be on the lookout for the new blog series, PAGES OF SUMMER!!!

PS: Got a book I should read, lemme know! I'll be going to the library every week If not more!

BBQ and Getting GAL'd UP!

2010-06-01T09:43:00.002-06:00

So yesterday was Memorial Day, and my family had a BBQ with some friends of the family! It was a lot of fun I don't get to see those people very often anymore, and it gave me a chance to get dressed up! My Make still has a long way to go to looking GAL, but I tried a tutorial from an AGEHA and if I had false lashes on I think it would have turned out super!

So the results!

Let's Get Physical!

2010-05-30T13:57:00.004-06:00

I spent two hours today in the gym!

And despite being tired, I feel great! I can sort of see the results of my hard work. The Marine certainly noticed, and I quote, "Damn your arms are so tiny!". I'm actually starting to get pumped about going to the gym. Afterwards I always feel so refreshed after a shower, I just wanna go outside... or clean something! I haven't weighed myself in awhile but my legs are getting thinner and those lovehandles are slowing going bye bye.

Today I tried a new ab workout with my sister. It's called NASCAR abs. Lol I know, but you do various exercises and instead of counting reps you just do your best in time intervals, I can totally feel the burn! And I ran a whole mile today without a stitch in my side! Sooo happy!

Now I just have to watch what I eat. Momma's making pork chops for dinner! YUM!

How is everyone doing? Do you have a fitness goal or milestone! Comment to me about it!!!

PS: Will have a blog about NC up soon... it just makes me sad to write it.

Paradise is Fleeting

2010-05-27T13:42:00.001-06:00

I returned from Camp Lejeune, NC last night! What a trip! It was just the thing I needed! A week in a beachside cabana with the man I am madly in love with! Sadly I can't say that we really did a TON of things this week, I was just happy to spend time with him... and walking on the beach with him was probably the most relaxing I've been at liberty to have right now.

It was a rough night last night, but at least I didn't cry... just sniffled when we said goodbye at the airport... but then my flight was delayed just after he left.... such is my luck! However more about my trip later! With pictures! I was just so delighted to be with him... but plans to see him in August appear to be falling through, I just can't afford it... and yes its my own fault because I've been shopping... like a mad woman. But I did clean out my closet and now its down to things I will actually wear! I guess you could say I'm now a GAL and fashion addict. Which brings me to my next topic!

Things I want to buy!!!
** A New camera since mine went for a swim in the Atlantic!
** Circle Lenses from Geo Candy! One maybe two pairs.
** Bulk false lashes from Daiso Japan (They are super cheap I know, but they look good)
** A half wig from either Prisila or HOT HAIR. I really want one... but I may have to start dying my hair in order to have one... so maybe a full wig instead.
** A Can can hat.... but they don't look good on me. Poo berries!
** More clothes... but I will do my best to wait for Fall trends!!!!

Also the diet is back in full swing as of tomorrow. I have dropped a pants size. And I bought a SMALL in Express the other day I nearly cried!!! I'm hitting the gym with my sister, and I guess its not so much of a diet as I am just trying to eat less and as healthy as possible because I fatted hardcore in NC. And I really want to look awesome come this fall and then for Japan! So in order to amp up my GAL style I have to amp up my activity!

As far as Japan and school goes. I'm working on lesson plans for J-Cup for the second year students, I'm organizing a ledger and a big planner for the Japan Club use and for my personal use so I can stay on top of everything. I think I will buy one tomorrow at the store. For study abroad I will be starting the applications and such in the next couple of weeks. I should still be able to study and graduate a semester early but it will be tough! I also met my goal of saving $1000 for Japan! YAY! But just barely I will be pinching pennies until my summer job starts! But come fall I will keep working 20 hrs a week!

So that's all the babble for now, expect another post probably this weekend! Toodles love!

PS: I've started a list of things I need for the apartment next year with MagnificentDebra's Darling Daughter!!! SOOOO EXCITED!!!!

Finals Week!!!

2010-05-10T09:37:00.000-06:00

I was planning a nice post soon, but alas Finals Week is here... and I haven't got the time right now! YIKES! So expect some fun in the NEAR future!!! I'm just super busy at the moment!

AND!!! NINE little days before I'm in North Carolina again!

PS: Is it odd that I thought the fact that my mother was upset that I was a tad more excited to see my boyfriend then to come home and work all summer??? And I was annoyed by that fact... meh...

Dog Years

2010-04-18T18:40:00.000-06:00

Today I spent a sunny afternoon on the CSU campus with my dog of ten and a half years (That's seventy five in Doggy Years). Aside from enjoying the grass and the springtime sunshine, I had a few good laughs at the openmouthed stares as we strolled through campus.

My dog Jenny (VII Trails Guinevere if you call her by her breeder name)is about 150 lbs and comes up to midcalf. She's a big girl on the outside, but her heart is even bigger. The reason for our get together today was as sad one. Jenny is really really sick, she has cancer, and as a family, we decided that surgery while a possibility is just not the most loving option because the odds are against us. So for the next week or so, Jenny will be living out her last days with my family in the forests of Colorado, playing on the property with our other furry family (Ella and Walker), spending evenings chewing on a bone or snoozing at the foot of my father's big chair.

I was heartbroken to see her get into the back of the stationwagon today when it was time to head home, and when I was saying my goodbyes I got her full loving attention while I cried a little rubbing her ears (her favorite petting spot). We as a family have had sick dogs before, but Jenny is really the only one that I can fully remember growing up with. When I wanted to do dogshowing she was the one that trotted along beside me in the practice ring and held her poses like she was supposed to. We went on walks through the woods in the summer, and she kept my cold feet warm in the winter. We spent weekends in costume at the Renaissance Fair and many days in the grass or the snow just playing around. I will miss our grumble, growl, grumble wars, she always won of course.

It's been a blissful ten years, and I'm torn to see God's decision for her finally becoming visable. I just hope that where she goes after this will be just as happy for her as all the years my family and I have loved her.

I'm going to miss her so much, it is going to be very hard for me, because I won't be there when it's time for her to go, but I know this is for the best and I will always be greatful for the years I was allowed to spend with her.

You will be missed Jenny, and you are still my number one four pawed Princess!!!!!

Curveball...

2010-04-13T11:17:00.000-06:00

So I sorta fought with the Marine on Sunday night (okay it was all me telling him somethings that are pretty bad that have been on my mind in the past few days) And I've been a total wreck. It's now Tuesday, I haven't slept in 48 hours, or spoken to him on the phone and I haven't been able to keep any food down. Yesterday afternoon I feel asleep in my Syntax class and felt horrible, I never do that.

I'm doing my best to still look and give the personna that I am at my best, but its failing miserably, if we don't talk soon I may be making a trip to the hospital if my stomach doesn't stop rejecting everything.

I hate fighting so much. I hate when I fight, I hate when others fight (parents etc) it does literally stress me to the point where I'm physically sick.

J-CUP And Back to The Daily Grind

2010-04-11T09:20:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was the Statewide Japan Cup competition so I'm sure you all want the run down.
My team and I studied our butts off this semester. We walked into the prelims with our heads held high, studied and prepared, (well I didn't feel prepared but who does?) and we fell down, hard. We lost to the other teams with our lowly 40 points, it was embarrassing, and I could barely face Seta and Beecken-sensei's when we walked out of the room, let alone my senpai who trained me. Many of the questions were the grammar or the other teams just beat us to the bell. And my mom and sister even came to watch. I know everyone is proud but there is a little bit of me that feels like I let them all down. It was hard to fight back the tears and I'm even a bit weepy now just writing about it.

However I didn't have long to dwell on that, our other teams did really awesome, two of them made it two the finals so I couldn't stop smiling after that. I did my best and did my part and I feel that as a team it was good. I helped the finals teams study which paid off, since CSU took home 1st AND 2nd place!I

As for me now that I've thought about it, even though we did miserable, we showed up and tried our hardest and I LEARN SOOOOOO MUCH! I know all these things and I DON'T need a competition to tell me that I'm amazing, I realy accomplished a feat in these past few months and I can't wait to help future Japanese students do the same. Maybe teaching and learning really is my true passion. I get so excited just thinking of the idea of sharing the knowledge that I worked so hard to gain.

Anyway after the competition the real fun started! We had a HUGE celebratory dinner at Sonoda's. Everyone sat in the back room with three big tables and we just ate sushi and Japanese food and the table ordered FIVE of these gaint alcoholic punches, (which I drank half of one because they weren't carding... but felt a bit bad later because Beecken sensei is pretty strict about underage drinking, I need to be more careful in the future, but I think she let it slide because of J-Cup. Daniel, Sydney and I had a great time, they were hamming it up and I was laughing my ass off. Those two never ceases to fill my life with humor! What good friends! After paying the table's probabaly close to $1000 bill, we headed to DJ's Karaoke.... and it was super fun I got to sing some of my favorite songs, but at the same time I wish we had gotten two rooms because 26 people in one room was really hot and we didn't get to sing much. That and while all my classmates are great I'm sure, some of the people I would have rather not been singing with, I really love karoke but I like to do it with my good friends. It's just more personal and special that way..... I just feelng that it would have been better, cause the room is so hot that half of us were standing outside looking through the viewing window waiting for our song so it could have been more fun. Towards the end of the night I went out and talked to Arlet and Derek, and had part of a Black Stone and a bit of Soju, I actually wouldn't have minded just heading to a quiet club or lounge having a couple of smokes and just talking with my near and dears, by that point in the night.

Alas it was nearly midnight when we headed home, I ended up sleeping on Daniel's shoulder most of the way... which I feel bad for... and a couple other things regarding him, make me a little confused, but it's probably just the tiredness talking... I may address it at a later date.

So anyway all in all a SUPER EPIC Saturday, and to everyone, my teammates Phen and Syd, I love you both, and to my great teachers and friends,

本当にありがとうございます！！！！！！！！

PS: NOW ITS TIME TO FOCUS ON MY DIET!

Just a do & Coordinate!

2010-03-30T11:28:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I had some time to get myself Galed up! Which with Gab's help the night before (by putting my hair in to wonderful pincurls! I could sleep while curling me hair! Finally!) I ended up with some very cute results yesterday and many people said so! ENJOY!

PS: Sorry no falsies though cause I was pressed for time and I had a long day that included the gym... not a good place for lashes. LOL

And my button heels(the ones I'm wearing) left big black marks on my white diamond tights!! NUUU!!! I'm soo sad! they were so cute! They are sorta ruined now...

Time Flys!

2010-03-28T09:08:00.000-06:00

Well today is March 28th. One year ago today I started dating Reagan! I'm amazed at how time has flown! So much has happened in that time! And I feel that the next year or how ever long I get to spend with him will be just as wonderful!

Looking back I am thankful to him for always being there and supporting me he is toooo good to me! Or when he's pestering me to stay on top of things... like my school work or my diet... ugh.

I'm thankful for his patience, cause lets face it I can be a pretty big bitch sometimes, or a weepy over emotional train collision.

I'm thankful that he is slowly shaping me into a stronger person. He doesn't notice I'm sure, but I'm so happy that with him I can begin to repair my confidence and pick of the pieces of my self esteem.

The biggest challenge for us... I would have to say is the distance. They weren't kidding when they said absence makes the heart grow fonder... everytime I get to see him, makes me giddy hours before and when he's with me or I'm with him, NOTHING can rain on our parade! I'm thankful that the powers that be allowed us to be together four times in this time. I am selfish and wish with all my heart for more time with him (like every friggin day), but I know that I signed up for the distance, so I want to continue to be strong for both of us.

My favorite times: I think the best memories I have of us together is when we are walking. It seems to be a thing we like to do. On his first visit when we were at the 16th street and just strolled up and down in the chilly March night looking at the city lights... and him suddenly dancing when a bag pipe player appeared on the street. Or walking through CSU campus and "hunting for squirells", in downtown Myrtle Beach, or walking through the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. But walking is so wonderful I think because it gives us time to slow down and really just enjoy the other's company, all the while feeling the closeness that we don't get very often. I have to say I think that holding hands is actually pretty darn cool!!!

The thing I miss the most when we are apart: His hugs, whether its a big Papa Bear hug that lifts me off the ground, or the one armed "I'm a cool badass tough Marine hug" or when I've had a bad day or upset, the hug on the couch or wrapped in the blankets, that's not too tight but is still strong and protective, or the hug at the airport when its time to say goodbye again... yes I even miss that one.... Whenever he holds me I feel safe and that is the best feeling in the world.

Well enough mush from me I suppose just thought I would post a little bit of recollection for today since it is our anniversary. I hope we stay strong and can continue to grow together even if we are 1,873 miles apart for seven months of the year.

PS: To all my friends and USMC Gals out there, thank you for the support in someway you help make our relationship solid, or make it run smoothly because you make me worry less. LOL! Stay strong and Semper Fi!

Mitsu Thank You and a DO!

2010-03-25T16:27:00.000-06:00

Well today I had a tiinny bit of time on my hands when it came to getting ready and I did my hair and I really love how it turned out! Its a bit of a messy look and I"m still gettin the layers under control, buuuut.

THANK YOU MITSU (even though you most likely don't read my blog I read yours!!!) And as such I tried her bang tutorials and on the first go around it work super well or at least I think so! What do you all think?!

So pictures! And then I have to study for Japan Cup!

Early Snowbird!

2010-03-24T08:27:00.001-06:00

Well it snowed a ton here in FoCo last night and behold this morning Gab and I were coming back from Breakfast and we saw this! According to Gab it was legit cause it had butresses and everything! WOO! Go college! And we got to see it early when there weren't a ton of people! That's what we get for being up with the sun!

Today's Outfit!

2010-03-22T10:01:00.001-06:00

So I'm experimenting with some new pieces to my wardrobe... in fact this whole outfit is like new clothes! WOO!

Headband: Bought it ages ago at Claires

Cardigan: In my top ten for sure! WET SEAL

Rose shirt dress: I love the little cloth roses on the top! So cute! WET SEAL

Grey Leggings: Oldie but a goodie! DEGREE

Necklaces: On sale from Claires, gotta love cheap and cute accessories!

Fringe Boots: Don't laugh I thought these were a great find from MAX AZIRA (w. Miley Cyrus) at Wal-Mart no less. I think they are comfy and adorable!

PS: I'm so lazy I didn't make my bed this morning. (>.<);

Hosting! Gotta Love IT!

2010-03-17T17:57:00.000-06:00

So its Spring Break and I'm home with the parents again! But also a Japanese exchange student from Kyoto is staying with me! Her name is Sayumi and and she is a darling!!! I love her to death! So since she's been here we've done some fun things!!! Shopping in Denver, purikura, Seeing Avenue Q, and then today we went to the Air Force Academy and Garden of the Gods!

When I get back to Ft. Collins and a high speed internet connection I will post LOTS of pictures of the shinanagans I promise!!

Oh PS: The bangs hath returned!!!

PPS: Reagan may have to go back to his original unit... ugh.... which means at the moment he has no address... so he can't get any mail. Sad pandas....

VENT: Frustration

2010-03-09T12:32:00.000-07:00

Okay so maybe not this exact thing but a similar situation?

You spend a bunch of time picking out and making a cute outfit, and you put it on get your hair mostly done and your boyfriend calls on Skype you answer and ask HIM what he thinks of the outfit (You get the typical "yah, its cute sure." responce) and while he's answering his fatass jerk roomate chimes in with some rude insult of your outfit, today it was that the outfit looked a like a kid with Downe's picked it out.
It really hurts when someone says such rude and offensive things, and for someone who is trying very hard to be a more confident and beautiful woman inside and out, the added opposition and kick back down the hill doesn't help.

I'm sorry I don't care who you are or how cool you think you are... and so the outfit isn't your style, but what do you know about fashion... seriously if it isn't a skin tight mini with a girls boobs hanging out its bad.... I'm sorry fail on you.

I also get really frustrated with the person because he is ALWAYS butting in, I try to be nice and ask him to please not include himself in the conversation, but no, he just insults and nice doesn't work and I just end up getting angry which makes my man angry and then we are angry at each other and I always end up apologizing soon after I hang up because I feel like an insensitive bitch.

But really, I'm REAGAN'S GIRLFRIEND, not Reagan and Douchebag's girlfriend.

Long story short I'm pissed and frustrated that I can't have those precious few minutes with JUST my boyfriend.

Love,

Frustrated and rather insecure girlfriend.

Suuu

2010-03-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

Its been forever since I've updated but expect some posts this week! Lots to talk about!

-Reagan's Visit
-Purikura in Colorado
-New Clothes
-Alice In Wonderland (Tim Burton)
-School life
-And as always, some GAL to go around.
-This includes talk of hair and maybe nail tutorials

But until then hang in there!!

A Bundle of News!

2010-02-11T15:54:00.000-07:00

Today started off horribly!! And I mean horrible. I woke up feeling so sick I didn't want to get out of bed, but did anyway and stood for four hours in front boiling hot steam tables, serving persons who were more concerned about getting their potatoes then when I dropped a pan because I burned my wrist on it.

Anyway after that I went to Japanese... which was alright, at least all the answers I gave were right and everyone liked my Hello Kitty flu mask. But on the way to class I had to go back three times to remember my group's outline for our culture project... so that sucked. And after class I was getting an almond steamer and my man called all in a frenzyf asking if I was back to my room yet... but I will say why in a minute! He had an appointment today... and it was pretty much settled that if the doctor's got their heads out of their asses he would be going on this deployment leaving soon. But despite my thinking that he's sorta hurt about the whole thing, I'm doing my best to stay positive for him that there may be another way for him to deploy. So we will see!

Anyway on to what made my day so wonderful now!
I checked my mail and I found a package slip... and inside that big loooong box.... all this! I can almost forgive him for not being here on Valentines! (LOL I'm kidding, I will live, we will hopefully have many things to celebrate together.) However... I do feel sorta like he out did himself compared to what I sent... please compare (fabulous roses cliche but my favorite versus... a small package of homemade truffles... cause I wanted to give him something even though he said I didn't have to.)

GAL Timeout!

2010-02-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

So I've been so busy that I can't really work on my GAL look which is really sad... I've had a couple of opportunities and my makeup... is getting sooo much better! LOOK!

Also though I feel like I'm letting my other gaijin gyaru down... like Mitsu...

HENCE... improvement beware dorky pictures ahead! They were the only ones that turned out pretty nice! I still need to curl these new lashes though! Thanks to Gabs for picking them out!

Also Gabs thinks I should do a tutorial on teasing and bouffanting (sp?) Mostly for gyaru purposes (you can't see my tease today didn't do much just add a bit of volume... so maybe that's in the future!

A Great GAL!

2010-01-20T17:10:00.000-07:00

So lately I've been pumping up the volume on my Gyaru fashion and I'm sooo happy there are sooo many GALS out there to help. However there is one I'd love to highlight and share her amazing blog!

MITSU! HERE'S TO YOU!! Please read her blog if you are at all interested in gyaru. She covers so much from deco, nails, outfit trends and even dieting (which I'm following her tips and they are working!), and an ask anything section!

http://universal-doll.com/

CHECK HER OUT!!!!

Horrible.

2010-01-16T17:00:00.001-07:00

The day started great! I got all prettied up.

I went to my first Japanese Tea Ceremony lesson.

I got a package in the mail (my new Japanese calender).

Then... went horrible.

I missed his call from the base or where ever he is on their stop in Dubai....

Then I found out that he hasn't been getting my emails.

And when I adjusted the address to what he said to do... they all bounced back three times... saying "account does not exist" Now I can't get in touch with him at all.

I can hardly stop crying and I feel guilty and miserable... I think I will just sleep now.

Over the Ocean!

2010-01-11T13:16:00.000-07:00

I heard from Reagan yesterday! YAY!!! I was very excited despite how short the email was, apparently everyone was trying to get on the computer so time was limited... however the important things got across. He's alive and well, he loves me and misses me terribly and how I should email him back!

I'm so glad he's okay this far and looks like they are making good time!! Maybe he will be home sooner after all!!! Wouldn't that be wonderful!!!

New Year: New Layout!

2010-01-09T19:39:00.000-07:00

Well since 2010 is not just going to go away I decided a new layout was in order... I really should make a custom one cause I don't like the templates very much on this one... but I fiddled with it and managed to get something that was agreeable... maybe I could get Danielle to make me a simple one...

Anyway I like the spring colors of this layout... not that I'm wishing for spring to get here faster (Come on ya damn season! I want flowers and my man back!! Grr!)

Hope all is well with everyone and enjoy the new layout!

Nothing Like a New Do!

2010-01-08T18:46:00.000-07:00

Plain and simple... my new Gyaru haircut!! OH YES! And I loved my make today! False lashes and everything!

Oh Girls!

2010-01-07T19:16:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons I love all the girls at USMC Gals! they stumble upon things like this! Thanks Jessi for sharing!!!

He hears you cry over the phone,
Hears the sorrow and pain in your tone
You miss him so bad
But he knows.

You bravely swallow your fears
And quietly wipe away the tears
Yet you're still dying inside
But he knows.

Then you tell him it's okay
That you'll see him again someday
You just hate to be apart
But he knows.

Your struggle is great and the pain immense
Your inner war is epic and the battles intense
All you want is him
But he knows.

The pain and the sorrow
The loneliness and tears
The frustration of waiting
The numerous fears

He knows what it is like
He understands it very well
He knows all the feelings
He knows all the thoughts
But he wants you to know
That no matter what
No matter where you are
No matter how near
Or how very far
He loves you

And he understands above all
The things you go through
Because, although he won't show it
So you won't always know it,
He goes through all of it too...

Appointment Day!

2010-01-05T19:33:00.001-07:00

So I spent today with my mother running to several appointments, but some highlights.

Today's Outfit: I explored with my glasses today... so today it was more Onee-Gal ish... (big sister)

Crepes for Lunch (The Dessert one didn't last long enough for a photo! ^x^ :

My Eyes all Dialated... damn eye doctor! Its sorta like having circle lenses:

2010: Extended Issues

2010-01-03T20:00:00.000-07:00

WARNING: POST AS SOME SERIOUS THINGS TO DISCUSS ONLY READ AND COMMENT IF TRUELY CONCERNED!

Well the New Year certainly pulled the rug from under me and landed me flat on my backside. Well more accurately it snuck up on me during a game of dominos at my grandparents’ house. No parties, no fireworks, no midnight kiss, not even champagne… but for some reason that’s okay with me.

As I mentioned previously I knew the holidays were going to be rough time since Reagan is Lord knows where at the moment. He’s been gone for just barely two weeks and I already want to yank my hair out, not talking to the current love of my shortish life! But seriously I can’t decide if all in all Reagan has been better for me… okay don’t take it like that, I love him dearly and couldn’t imagine losing him by fate or by choice, but he is part of what leads me into my next predicament.

After much thinking and some research I think that I may have a mild or moderate form of depression. At first I thought I was overreacting but after keeping tabs on myself for several months (since the summer) I am more convinced that there is something wrong…. I can’t help but always feel moody, lethargic, lonely, lacking an appetite, easily annoyed and most frighteningly unmotivated. The biggest issue I think is though I’m still clinging to those thoughts of my appearance and my confidence with regards to it, I don’t think it’s appropriate to lay out here but I think that is the underlying cause, which is partially where Reagan comes in. I’ve also been sleeping way more then I should be. I’m getting paler and paler and my mother thinks I might be slightly anemic so it’s time to go to the doctor to get it checked out; but I think I WILL go to the Counseling Center when I get back to school, because I’d rather not have my mother butting her nose into EVERYTHING in my life… sometimes she thinks she’s helping and to be honest it’s just a frustration and a hindrance. That and I need to get this sorted out; if it’s serious I want to beat it head on!

And why bring Reagan into this… well I don’t really want to talk to him and worry him about it… I mean on one hand I adore him and he is making me more confident but at the same time he also adds a lot of anxiety to my life and I am still really struggling with a lot of physical insecurities and I just want to step back and slow down with him a little bit… I hate to do that but I know it’s something that even though I don’t want to, until I can get my mental state figured out I think I need to do this. Don’t get me wrong! That doesn’t mean I’ll be giving up my cozy warm spot next to him in bed at night, OH NO! That cuddle time is all mine! It just means more outside the sheets, clothes on kind of quality time.

If not only for him but for my family and my dearest friends who begin to feel more like family everyday but in large part for him I need to be a stronger woman, I am embarrassed to be laying with him or sitting in the car with him and bursting into tears because of some compliment or question that he makes, that in some twisted way that is NOT his fault makes me feel insecure, want to cover myself and not let him touch me. It isn’t fair for him, because he really is such a great man!! And I just can’t stand it anymore, I’m sick of being weak. I’ve pushed my mental problems down for too long and I think its finally taking its toll… so I’m going to fight this… I have to.

And now for something entirely different... that won't make you want to shoot yourself in the foot... my new man... or bunny! His name is Labbit!

2010: The Lighter Note

2010-01-03T19:49:00.000-07:00

Okay so its resolution time! First lets recap!

2009:

1. Get straight A’s… yeah that didn’t go so well but I have a 3.59 GPA! YAY!

2. Mandarin… when was I supposed to start that… I think I will just start bugging Reagan to teach me more Cantonese.

3. I still have a job a Corbett! I’m going to apply for the Trainer position as soon as I am able!

4. SAVE! That one didn’t go so well, thanks in large part to Reagan for emptying my coffers for some serious fun time!

5. I didn’t lose 15lbs. I’ve been maintaining at 150lbs. some of the gain is in muscle is good but I’m still not happy so to the gym!

6. STAY SOCIAL! Oh I did that! I got a boyfriend many more friends from both the US and Japan and other countries! My calendar is never empty!

So the resolutions for this year!

1. Apply and get accepted at Yamagata University Japan!

2. Work even harder at my studies! Participate in Japan Cup and get an A in Japanese!

3. Write more letters! Especially to the Japanese students!

4. Get myself into the Counseling Center to see someone about my mental state (Read Extended Issues for more detail).

5. Become a stronger and more positive woman for my man and for those around me!

6. Remove most of the “Negative Nellie’s” in my life! See ya girls! I don’t need your drama too!

7. Keep losing weight, I won’t say how much. My target is somewhere in the 135lbs neighborhood (I want to lose enough to lose some “chest weight” to put it politely)

8. Work on developing a gyaru style, poised perfect and stylish! I’m becoming a woman so its time to dress like one!

9. Make this year EVEN better then the last! But between friends and Reagan this could be the toughest!

Gyaru Shoot... Kinda...

2009-12-25T19:31:00.000-07:00

So here are the highlights from my recent GAL/gyrau adventures! Need more info on what it is! Check out this link!

http://gyaru.startje.com/

This site has the Japanese and Foreign model and GAL blogs as well as pictures and tutorials galore! So just explore!

I'm waiting on my hair cut until after my trip to see my grandparents, but its mostly just getting layers so I can backcomb!!!

PICTURES!

I'm still far from being true gyaru but this is a start!!!!

Anchors Aweigh!

2009-12-24T09:44:00.000-07:00

Okay... so that's technically Navy... but long story short. Reagan's ship left today... well last night to be precise... so they are now somewhere in the Atlantic... and my main hope... that the stupid man stays warm enough!

I did hear news that there are plans to make this trip as short as possible so he maybe back by the end of January!!! I'm so excited! But as everyone knows... nothing ever really goes the way you want it to in the military... but still less of a damper on my holidays!

It's Christmas Eve and its gonna be a little sad tomorrow but I'm thankful that my family and friends will be around to distract me to some extent... I'm sad though cause Reagan forgot to take the little Christmas tree I sent him along with him... humph. Oh well he remembered the important part his gift... which I really hope he likes and can enjoy while he is on the ship... well that's about it.

Tomorrow also look forward to an outfit post, I've been working on my gyaru style and I'm getting better, slowly... but better!

Tidings of Comfort And Joy

2009-12-20T11:52:00.000-07:00

WHEW! There is five days till Christmas... and my shopping is done, my stuffing, wrapping, tying, packing, bubble-wrapping, boxing, taping and post office waiting is... DONE! I'm offically set for Christmas... but I just can't get in the mood.

We set up our Christmas Tree today, it is lovely as ever and I was happy to put my latest Gone With The Wind Series ornament up (I've collected like all of them... I just need the green dress Scarlett in porcelian!) and the tree looks great! All the presents are yet to be under it but they will be arriving shortly I'm sure. And yet I still am wincing when Christmas songs come on the radio.

I think the main reason for this is Reagan's impending "trip", it isn't REALLY a full deployment but it sure feels like it. He's left Camp LeJeune as of Friday and has said that the "boat" leaves for "somewhere East" sometime this upcoming week... my guess based on something he let slip... Christmas Eve... now if that doesn't blow bricks of fruitcake then I don't know what does....
Granted OPSEC won't let me say anymore! SSSHHH!!

But basically he will be gone until February maybe March... which means these are the holiday firsts we will be missing, Christmas, New Years, his 25th Birthday, and Valentine's Day... and I will tell you now my hot coccoa is gonna need a lot of peppermint schnapps to get me through.... I know I signed up for this and I shouldn't complain because he will be back with me sooner than many of the women in my situation, I will only go without seeing him for now four-ish months... they haven't seen their Marines in a year... my hopes are always with them! SEMPER FI!

But at the same time... those women get to live with their men, I will be honest, that living in hotel rooms is just getting exhausting, I do it enough when I travel with my parents... I don't need it with my boyfriend if I can help it...

However on the plus side, if he comes back in March we started talking about my Spring Break and maybe planning a week get-a-way for our one year anniversary, somewhere, where neither of our families or friends is.... wouldn't that be nice?

Anyway back to the holidays... I think I'm going to now make some hot chocolate and park my butt in front of A Christmas Story and Love Actually... until I'm literally exhaling Christmas.... I do love this season, it is just a very tightrope love.... conditions have to be right....

PS: But thankfully Reagan will have a tree, I sent him a tiny one (he loved it) with his Christmas gift and special Christmas Cookies... so he can sorta have a Christmas... cause his family probably won't get around to sending gifts since they thought they were going to see him.... okay I'm not going there... *toodles away*

Embroider My World!

2009-12-03T11:42:00.000-07:00

So instead of doing my homework... as usually I've gotten distracted and the product of today's distraction Reagan's gift for WHEN (Not IF) he gets promoted to full Corporal!! It won't be for sure of course... he still has to make the board but he's been working so hard and his superiors want him to get it so keep your fingers crossed... anyway... the gift. He is always asking me "So where's that pinup you promised me?" I had at one time told him I would like to to a vintage pinup style photoshoot with and I foolishly told him he could have a few of the shots... but until I can locate a willing photographer... he will have to settle for this. Besides the bunk in his barracks is so drab it could use a little feminine touch!

THE PATTERN! I'm pretty sure the detail stitching on the face and logo will kill me!

30 Soles: Special Travel Edition!

2009-12-03T11:26:00.001-07:00

So last week I returned from the Carribbean. Grand Cayman in the British West Indies as a matter of fact! It was a most wonderful family trip and was absolutely beautiful! So in honor of that. A selection of the footwear from that trip!

UP FROM UNDER! I was barefoot bound on Monday! As my sister and I floated 450 ft. above the crystel blue ocean. I wish I could have taken a camera up in the parasail... but alas water and electronics do not mix well I'm afraid. It was such a wonderful experience to be up high with a bird's eye view and the boat pulling us fit just under my little toe!!

UNDER THE SEA! Tuesday came with a suprise! Another barefoot day and I spent the morning with stingrays, swimming feeding holding and occasionally stumbling upon one. Imagine slipping your foot over very fine sandpaper and then bumbling like a toddler into the water as a ray the size of a bed pillow swims up from under the sand where you were just standing. It is quite the experience. I love the extra contact with nature through my toes!

WHAT ARE THEY CALLED? OH FINS! Wednesday and Thursday were days of snorkeling and exploring more of Carribbean under water. So quiet and so beautiful! And I armed with my little flippers had the time of my life in the water but it's always odd to step back onto the sand awkwardly. I now know how penguins and ducks feel!

TOES IN THE SAND... COLD DRINK IN MY RIGHT HAND! When these day's adventures ended I was thankful for a warm sandy beach... and I'm proud to say that I think my toes are into a very deep love affair with the sand and sun!

So next time you hit the beach don't wear shoes!! It's much more intimate that way!

Passport Pressure!

2009-11-22T18:15:00.000-07:00

Okay so I'm sitting in the lobby of our wonderful resort in the Cayman Islands and unfortunately this blog is not an altogether happy one... I mostly want to get a few things off my mine.

NAMELY Reagan.... with international calling here in the islands I am unable to call him nor he I and I can recieve his texts but can't send anything back without a charge. Also as this is a family vacation my times as to when I can be online are restrictive... to say the least. And lord knows I can't have him beside me so sleep is pretty rough. Perhaps a family trip right after a "boyfriend" trip was not the best thing to do....

I'm trying to enjoy this vacation I REALLY am! Its just that what I was afraid of is happening. I mean I have fun doing things but there's that gnawing "Gosh I wish Reagan was here with me now." or "Reagan would love this" and such. It's driving me nuts not being even able to talk to him! As if I don't miss him enough as it is. Thank god we aren't having to deal with a deployment I'd be pulling my hair out. Anyway back to the point. This vacation is supposed to be fun and relaxing and all I feel is mostly mild irritation with my family and lonliness. Nothing like sitting ina resturant looking at the table across seeing a couple and unfairly wishing your dinner company was more to your liking. THEY ARE MY FAMILY! And while my sister and I have had some fun and laughs... I just want to be with someone else. I feel suffocaited by my family right now. Maybe I should have followed my gut and not gone on this trip. Reagan and I would be snuggled up in front of the fire at my house right now... but the choice is made. He is just soo distracting!!! I hate it!!

Do these feelings make me whiny, selfish or just flat out insane. I mean I should be enjoying my time with my family but HE's all that's in my head. I love my family but I think I'm getting ready to start living my own life and he is a HUGE part of it right now... and obviously something I consider vital... And as I type this I keep cursing him in my head for not being online. All I've heard from him since arrival is "hey babe, hope you're having an awesome time...." I wish I could tell him about the things I did today! And hear his voice I miss him soo much! Especially about the iguanas we saw all over the island today! But again here I sit. Anyway back to the room...

PS: Tomorrow... PARASAILING!!!

GRAND CAYMAN ISLAND!

2009-11-20T21:13:00.000-07:00

So I know I missed a week now on 30 Soles and I'm doing my best, its just things got really out of hand this week so I will just extend a week into December! And there should be some new shoes to view too!

Anyway, I leave to Grand Cayman Island early tomorrow morning and chances are I won't be able to update daily! I will try though! And take pictures!

30 Soles: Under the Weather

2009-11-17T18:29:00.000-07:00

THE SHOE: Satin black ballet flats by American Eagle

THE WHY: To be quite honest for Monday and Tuesday I didn't really care what shoes I put on. These were handy and comfy so they were slipped on my depressed and tired feet. The day or two after I get back from visiting Reagan is always the hardest. I just wanna stay in bed and keep imagining I'm curled up against his chest dozing in and out of consciousness and smelling his cologne as I drift into a cozy dreamland.... but reality is like a kick in the pants and I just don't feel motivated to get really dolled up or dress up for those few days. In fact writing these blogs has been a little bothersome... but I know how you like to read them so I faithfully post even though when it comes to this last one my heart is barely in it, and I apologize. I just would like to be elsewhere right now and not have to deal with all the drama that my schoolwork has decided to inflict upon me, but all that for another day I suppose. There is homework to be done and these tired feetsies was to head to bed early so they can begin an early day tomorrow.

TIDBIT: How I feel!

30 Soles: Inny Minny Minny Toes!

2009-11-17T18:24:00.000-07:00

THE SHOE: This is a special post as I am posting SOCKS and not shoes... but the underwears is almost as important as the outerwears!

THE WHY: Lovely Kelly from IB in high school went to Korea over the summer and is now going to Duke! I met her and Dovina on Saturday morning for brunch with Reagan and she gave me these socks as a gift! They are cartoon representations of some of my favorite members from a Korean Pop group BIG BANG! Love their music!

TIDBIT: My favorite BIG BANG song! The english subtitles are in the top left of the screen!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39keqjeBXH8

30 Soles: Miss! Your Slipper!

2009-11-17T18:00:00.000-07:00

THE SHOE: White strappy leather sandal heels by Unlisted purchased at Macy's

& Patent leather standard issue dress shoes provided by the USMC

THE WHY: These shoes matched my ball gown and were just the right height for me in comparision to my man. It was finally my night to be Cinderella!! The United States Marine Corps. 234th Birthday Ball was November the 14th this past Saturday and I can't even begin to describe the wonderful time I had. It was absolutely perfect, once I had the typical female scramble to get ready and all dolled up for the event. It was at the Officer's Club at Camp Lejeune and it was wonderful to see everyone dressed to the nines! The ceremony in celebration of the birthday like many military ceremonies was very formal and well organized... but the Chaplin's prayer a tad long... I must say. And it was agonizing not having eaten for several hours and have a giant cake sitting in front of you for nearly 20minutes. After that we headed to the banquet room where a lovely dinner which included filet mignon was served! This was followed by the guest of honor a Colonel speaking on complacency in the military... motivating but perhaps a little grim for the event. After chatting with the lovely women and men at our table and a slice of delightful marble cake. Reagan and I danced the night... well until midnight away! He really only wanted to dance to the slow songs but I didn't mind in the least! It was so nice to do something as a couple for a change and be so close to him. After the ball we went out for a few drinks with some of his buddies and I got to talk more with some of the fellow girlfriends. Its wo wonderful how nice everyone is and they understand how tough being a Marine's girl can really be! I hope I've begun to grow some lasting friendships!

TIDBIT: A photo with my Prince Charming and PS: Did you spot the guest on my shoe blog!

30 Soles: Now Boarding!

2009-11-17T17:34:00.000-07:00

THE SHOE: Black patent leather heels by FIONI

THE WHY: Friday was the day!!! I rushed through my first two classes of the day... very distracting and practially ran out the door into the falling snow at 2pm in the afternoon! It was time to hit DIA for my trip to North Carolina! I knew the flight would be a long one, but the Marine waiting at the airport 1,787 miles away was soo worth every uncomfortable, infant wailing minute! I chose my heels because Reagan whines I never wear heels around him and no wonder he's only 5'10" when he isn't slouching... and I already feel like a giant mountain woman next to him! So needless to say I gave into his whims and wore heels. It was funny because on my way there, in the airport actually I was sitting near a little girl who kept looking over at me, and as I was sipping on some juice she reached over and tapped my arm. I smiled and said "Hello." And she goes "Are you a model?" and I just smiled and said "No, I'm not" and she said "Well your really pretty! Bye!" Then got up with her mother. It was really a boosting moment. My flight was delayed because we had to be deiced leaving DIA.... when I finally arrived at Raliegh and Reagan hopped out of his Honda I couldn't have been more happy, Iwanted to cry with happiness. And after getting to the hotel for the night needless to say it was clothes off, pjs on, lights out and cuddle all night long! How glorious!

TIDBIT: The Hilton Garden Inn at Raliegh has a WONDERFUL breakfast included... all the strawberries I could eat!!

30 Soles: Let's Get Physical!

2009-11-12T20:08:00.001-07:00

THE SHOE: Black and white indoor court tennis shoes by NIKE

THE WHY: Today is Thursday... I ventured to the gym today. Like I tend to due at least three times a week. On Tuesday I have started taking a Total Body Conditioning class at the Rec Center... it pretty much kicks my butt... utterly.... totally and completely. I come back and pass out on my cushions for a nice long nap. But today I was lucky enough to just do my running, 4miles of jogging to be more precise and my ab work... which included the use of weights. I really do love my gym time its the one time in the day where I don't have to stress about all the happenings of my life... its just me the treadmill, Japanese Death Metal.... and occasionally Oliva Newton John. Exercise certainly is a freeing experience no doubt.... but my real reason... is to get a great body for me, my man and my bikini! So cheer me on!! *hears Rocky theme playing in the background of exercise montage*

TIDBIT: I am venturing to North Carolina tomorrow so I will not be able to post more shoes until my return on Monday as I will not be taking my computer but I assure you its worth the wait!!!

30 Soles: Deja Vu We've Been Here Before

2009-11-11T21:34:00.000-07:00

Sorry, about the multiple day updates but this week is wreaking havoc with my time management and I'm about to go nuts in anticipation for my trip to Camp Lejeune this weekend... sooo here we go!

THE SHOES:Black patent leather heels by Fioni and black vinyl ballet flats MAXI by RAVE

THE WHY: The power shoes were definately a choice for Tuesday's insecdurities. I had left the fate of a script rough draft turn in to someone who was rather irresponsible. Needless to say I made and printed my own version just in case.... granted he sorta turned in a copy. But that is a fiaso I'd rather not discuss. Needless to say I needed my power shoes to give me some courage and faith in other people... and because the only clean jeans in my closet were too long for flats!

Today's choice was simple flats I have the same pair in white, but the black ones are definately more versitile. I had my conversation partner volunteering today and it was super interesting but as always I am intimdated by some of the views and the egos of some of the middle eastern male students, and my shoe choice reflected that. Around them and many men I'm sad to say, i want to feel small and meek... not a boustrious American broad. Timid and submissive to their at times chauvanistic views. And when we talked about our dream jobs and I mentioned being a housewife they all chattered something in Arabic and when I asked what they responded "Now why can't every woman think that way!" It made me shrink in my seat a little bit. However someday I still want to visit Saudia Arabia and the Middle East... but for today I slipped away quietly in my dainty black shoes.

TIDBIT: My boyfriend is being a jerk with regards to this blog therefore upon seeing him I will proceed to throw a shoe at his head... okay no really but the thought has crossed my mind.

30 Soles: Someone order a Double Shot?!

2009-11-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

THE SHOE (S): Black satin ballet flats by American Eagle & Black crosstrainer sneakers by Athletic Works

THE WHY: Sunday and Monday were hectic! Between work school, packing and plans for the CSU World Unity Fair (I am with the Japan Club booth) I've barely had a moment to myself! Hence why I'm combining Sunday and Monday today! There will be a shoe post for Tuesday today as well! I swear! But at the insistance of MagnificantDebra... I am posting my work shoes and what I like to call my "out of the house slippers" Both are plain and simple but they have the support to get me through the busy days! My work shoes have seen breakfast lunch, dinner and midnight snacks and icecream treats in their three years of living with me. They saw me through my assistant manager position at Dairy Queen with ten hour days on Drive Thru... and my latest job in the kitchen of the Corbett/Parmelee Dining Hall of CSU. They really are quite dirty... I should wash them.

My ballet flats have a bit of a history as well. They were my first pair of ballet flats and travelled to Hawaii, the mountains, California and North Carolina with me. I take them everywhere! They make fantastic in air shoes! So comfy and easy to slip on and off.... and not to mention adorable! The reason I wore them on Sunday and Monday... I needed a reprieve! And what a glorious rescue these shoes are!

TIDBIT: I'm letting you all know well in advance... expect some strange shoe-fellows next week! I've lined up a special guest or two!

30 Soles: Nudity! How Scandalious!

2009-11-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

THE SHOE: Au natural

THE WHY: Well to be frank I find my work shoes to icky to post for Saturday's shoe... and after my early morning shift... I simply puttered around my room and did some hardcore homework and even more serious napping... oopsies. But it was certainly nice to let my little toes have some freedom today!!!

TIDBIT: It has been said that prime nap time is from 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m., when your energy level dips due to a rise in the hormone melatonin at that time of day. Funny thats about when I had one of my naps!

Why Do People Say Such Things!!

2009-11-06T19:39:00.000-07:00

I just saw on a facebook post attached to a video about the shooting at Fort Hood.

"FUCK YEAH! Oh... just 12.... aww almost 13"

WHY WOULD ANYONE SAY THAT!!! It's horrible! The person isn't even a citizen of the US and it just infuriates me that he could take the death of soliders... no ANYONE so lightly. Its just disgusting! His responce was simply that he doesn't "understand" the Army's reasoning for sending our loved ones to war and he doesn't "like" the US ARMY.

Well who really does adore military of any sort? No one likes war and wouldn't it be wonderful if men and women didn't have to fight and die to protect our rights and freedom or help those in need when combat is required. Granted at this point I don't agree with all the US military is doing now but I firmly believe in supporting the men and women not the political mudslinging that they are forced to defend. It take so much courage to stand and fight for your country even if you don't want to take that gun and pull the trigger. War is a nessecity in our society it seems and the least we can do is support those who stand in front of us! As the old saying goes. "If you don't stand behind our military, Stand in FRONT of them!"

Perhaps if he had made a more reasonable arguement for his actions I wouldn't be so harsh. But it just frustrates me! He also commented that the victims of the shooting weren't even dying to protect their country. AGH! I think that many people don't realize how hard the men and women who are serving on the home front work and how difficult it is to live waiting orders and trying to live a life and provide for your family with the thought of being shipped off even the next morning. It doesn't matter where they are stationed they do a job that many people just don't have the gumption to do and for that I can NEVER thank them enough!

SO A THANKS TO EVERY PERSON IN MILITARY SERVICE for doing your duty with pride! I'm so grateful!

I'm just going to post this before I get so upset I start crying.

30 Soles: Take Me To The Peep...Toe!

2009-11-06T18:17:00.000-07:00

THE SHOE: Black and white patent leather button peep toe heel by BC (Thrift store find!)

THE WHY: You will never believe it but today it was 70 degrees! What a chance! What a day! I need no jacket and I can wear summer shoes! These are actually one of my favorite pairs of shoes! And for five dollars why not! So comfy and adorable too! What a lovely day today was! And a Friday no doubt! The day began with a dreary start... as in I worked hard at my kitchen job.... but by 11am things were looking up! Today's shoes put a lovely little spring in my step for the warm day and for the first time in a few weeks the hot pink nail polish was allowed to glow brightly in todays warm sun! And to make matters better! I did well on my Japanese exams and got a perfect score on my American Literature exam!

THE TIDBIT: Today I bring you a wonderful place for a pedicure... and Boba Tea! It is in the 16th Street Mall in Denver Colorado! The Denver Nail Lounge!

http://www.denvernaillounge.com/

30 Soles: Pitter Patter Petticoats

2009-11-05T16:04:00.000-07:00

THE SHOE: Black vinyl ballet flats MAXI by RAVE

THE WHY: I decided for some reason that I still haven't completely worked out to dress in Lolita today. I think the main reason was that I had time after work today with little studying to do so I had time to primp. I originally was thinking on pulling out those lovely ankle boots. But the sun and the warmth filtering through my window whispered otherwise. And so I opted for a simple ballet flat which in retrospect was a wise descision so I didn't clash with my piano knee high socks. I also realized today that while I was wearing my Lolita I was beginning to realize that I am actually outgrowing the style a bit. Its just a little too childish for me, yes I like the frills for special occasions but as for an everyday look I'm thinking that its time I clip those child strings and stick to the mature style that suits my personality... but it was still a fun treat today.

TIDBIT: My outfit for the day!

30 Soles: Drop Me Into Wonderland!

2009-11-04T19:35:00.000-07:00

THE SHOE: Patent leather pin heel tea party-esque No Boundries heel with ankle strap (And hold your breath ladies... Wal-Mart)

THE WHY: Well today's original shoe selection was a pair of black ballet flats but as this modern day Alice but despite urging of my white rabbit (my boyfriend) that I would be late if I didn't hurry it up, I couldn't resist the call of these charming little shoes. I found them by sheer chance in a Wal-Mart several rabbit holes away (Colorado Springs) and I thought well despite their normal use for my frolics into the Japanese Victorian and Rococco inspired Lolita fashion... today would be the day I would answer their cries of loneliness. And they rewarded my justly. Not only did they match the vibrant pink mini skirt I wore... with tights (its far too cold to go without) but they completed an outfit that put me in the ranks of super cute when I walked in the door to my Intensive English Program volunteering. As always IEP is quite the adventure. There are people from so many different cultures that I want to talk to more! There is a student from southern China! Maybe he will teach me how to say more then "Lei hai sofa!" (I'm winging the spelling on that one) which is "You are a silly goose!" and Reagan will surely be impressed! And another girl from Saudi Arabia who I REALLY want to talk to more about what that country is like... someday I wish to visit there I think their culture is truely an interesting one... as well as many other students!

So today my shoes took me on an interesting adventure... alas, I was not able to have tea with the Mad Hatter... perhaps my shoes will save that treat for next time!

TIDBIT: My next talent that I wish to aquire is.... Japanese Tea Ceremony! I plan on starting lessons either in December or in January!! Wish me luck!

30 Soles: Rules For White

2009-11-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

THE SHOE: White vinyl bowfront ballet flat Maxi by RAVE

WHY: Today's shoes I felt were very fitting for a warm sunny but breezy day. That and after rushing around at work for four hours a girl definately needs some comfortable shoes. I'm sure there is some rule that says I can't wear white shoes at this point in the year but what non sense. They matched my outfit perfectly and I was inspired by Hello Kitty today so this called for bows in my hair and bows on my shoes. Funny how little white bows make everything that much better!

TIDBIT: Hello Kitty has a last name. It's Shiro... or white in Japanese. So Hello Kitty White! not quite the best ring to it ne?

30 Soles: The Power Suit

2009-11-03T14:18:00.000-07:00

Supposed to be posted on Nov, 2nd

And Shoes to Match!

THE SHOE: Patent leather heels Fioni brand, Payless

WHY: These shoes were my choice today because I felt the need to have a little extra courage for the day. As is typical for Colorado fall... the weatherman said 45... well it was 35 and more dreary then a foggy day in London.... but mostly because I was feeling puny due to my exam today. American Literature is normally fairly easy for me but for some reason... nad I blame Emily Dickenson, I was feelinga little uneasy about this exam.

I've always felt that every woman should have one pair of shoes in thier closet that when they put them on they feel pretty unstoppable. These are my shoes. They aren't expensive or gaudy, just shiny and black, but they tell everyone that I'm going to step right up and take the challenge... and if I get dirty... its nothing a little polish can't fix. Let's hope that hols true for my exam!

TIDBIT: Mary Tudor of England was actually one of the first women to wear high heels and make the shoes in fashion for females as opposed to males who used the heel for riding.

30 Soles in 30 Days!

2009-11-01T17:11:00.000-07:00

Yes my readers (however few of you there are) it is November the 1st and as I promised the shoe blog as commenced!

THE RULES:
Each day I will post what shoes I wore for the day and why I chose to wear them... and maybe a fun tidbit or two!

SO LET'S GET STARTED!

DAY 1: Break 'em In!

The Shoe: So today's shoes are Fioni brand from Payless Shoes!

Why?: I chose these shoes today because I purchased them on Friday with some friends... Payless had a secret (it was on Oprah) sale where you got fifty percent off your purchase! I've wanted some ankle boots and these were just too cute! I put them on on this sunny sunny November day because I wanted to break them before I debut them to the whole world! Its never a good idea to wear shoes without a test drive! And as I walked down the sidewalk this afternoon I was delighted to hear that all familiar "click.... click.... click" as that lovely narrow heel daintily tapped the ground. I glanced down and was delighted to see how small my feet appear in these shoes. I always get a smile when comfortable meets darling and danity wins the day!

TIDBIT: Here's what the boots were hiding!

What Are You?

2009-10-26T21:16:00.000-06:00

Tonight I went to lecture on identity with Kip Fulbeck as the keynote speaker. I will openly admit that while I enjoyed myself the emotions I were feeling were probably not ones that I should have been feeling but seeing him talk really made me want to put what I’ve been stuffing under the table for years to the forefront of my thoughts… and I’m putting it out there and I don’t care if it doesn’t make a lick and stick worth of sense, hey world, you’re getting it.

Like I said they were of no surprise to me and I felt that after hearing such a moving speaker for our generation that now was the time to address my own issues with identity. His Hapa Project (http://www.seaweedproductions.com/hapa/) asks one question “What Are You?” And here’s my answer…

I am ashamed. There are days I can barely handle looking at myself in the mirror. I am white. I am embarrassed. I am jealous. I am so marginal so average and so wrong. I want to have pride in my identity but there can be no feeling in a neutral color. Everyone says race doesn’t matter, yet that is how we classify ourselves and much of our pride and self confidence comes from…. Even if we don’t want to admit it. My parents say that I am British… that I’m German… but I know I am American. I am the product of the dreamer, the tired and the hungry…but most of all I am lacking in identity. It is so wrong to take what is not mine. I selfishly take pride in my own boyfriend’s Chinese heritage. So much so that I don’t even take the respect to think of him as he wants to be known, Chinese American. His parents are Chinese… but he should be my patriot, my shining United States Marine… and yet deep down I only want to see Chinese.

I am awkward. I will never fit in where my personality wants to slip. I feel that I was unjustly placed in this skin, so fair, so pale… that CoverGirl Ivory 205. I want to scratch it off and I hope to see something darker underneath. I crave a rich culture, one with strong history, a tonal language, a sense of familial honor, duty… and a cultural iconic hero like Bruce Lee. If nothing else, for one day I want an Asian identity.

But here and now let’s face the truth of what I am. I am the she, who will wear her apron and pearls in the kitchen. I am she who is happy to darn your socks and bake you apple pie. I am she who will wait for him to come home. I am she who will iron the center crease in that uniform everyday. I am a patriotic face, because in these mere movements I can build an acceptable identity. I don’t want it, but at least it will bring temporary joy and a night when I can sleep.

Taking a Minute...

2009-10-21T16:48:00.000-06:00

I have about five to ten minutes before I head to the gym for my daily stress buster with Sakiko, Tomoko, Mai and Sydney. It is the one hour of my day where I flat out refuse to think about anything but my exercise!! It is keeping me in better shape! Since the beginning of the semester I have lost nearly two kilograms! YAY!

Life is continuing to be difficult... I just barely got a C on my Japanese midterm... this year's grammer is just killing me! But I think once I turn in my paper for composition at the end of next week I can focus on the next big things... the USMC Ball and saving money for Japan. I get paid this Friday THANK GOD...

I mailed Reagan a cheer up package today because he got beaten in the Book Board (for promotion) by a guy who doesn't do like anything... and even if he won't admit it he really wanted to be all showy offy at the Ball with his new rank and me.... I positive that he at least partilly wanted to have it for my sake.... he's so wonderful to me.

Also his Christmas present came from Hong Kong today. I ordered his favorite Chinese Cop Drama films in a special edition boxed set... I had to get them from Asia directly because nowhere in the US had the box set...

Anyway... gotta go to the gym

Toodles....

If That Doesn't Kill Me...

2009-10-19T16:57:00.001-06:00

Then who knows what will.

This weekend was really hard for me. A lot of days have been hard lately. I find myself having to yank harder at my motivation to get me out of bed each day. I don't know what it is... maybe I've taken on too much or maybe I lack motivation because I'm not doing enough to keep me busy enough that I don't notice... or I just don't see the point in prioritizing anymore.

I'm getting sick of all the negetive energy surrounding me there are a couple of people in particular that are partially the cause. And I don't mean just meantally sick most likely physically sick as well. I've had a cough that's hung in there till nearly week four. I'm really hoping its not the stress related sore throat that I had in high school. My stomach seems to be on the fritz as well... woo hoo. And to top it off... I burnt myself on Sunday.

But back to this weekend. It was so rough that I ended up cleaning my entire dorm room. Top to bottom side to side... I even cleaned up Chelsea's half... I scrubbed and wiped and washed and dusted... and after all that I still felt miserable and had myself a good ol' fashioned cry... you know the ugly kind with a runny nose and everything.

I'm doing my best to keep my spirits up. And Reagan is helping a little bit but it doesn't help that I talk to him and miss him and can't fall asleep easily without him anymore... I knew men were more trouble then they are worth! But I picked up my dress... the pics are on Facebook in a limited group so Reagan can't see it. I want it to be a total suprise. I'm worried about him getting his Blues though... procrastinatin....

Today he called me mid day and asked if I wanted a bunny. His friends breeds them and Reagan thought it would be a good idea to get me one for my Birthday... silly man... he was like... you could keep it at your friend's house... riiight...

But school is just frustrating... mostly my Composition class.... it takes my nerves and smashes them to a pulp... I just don't understand that class. I wrote my papers in the dark... I got a B+ but still... and it just isn't interesting to me... but I meet with my advisor soon for registration so maybe that will be nice.

I'm also worried about study abroad... it looks like I will either have to work extra... break up or at least go on hiatus with Reagan (so I don't spend the money it takes to visit) or I just can't go... because I don't want my parents to pay for EVERYTHING...

But whatever enough of that... I need to just go sleep...

What's Shakin Bacon?!

2009-10-10T17:54:00.001-06:00

Okay so here is the deal! Life has beenmovingatarecordpaceandIjustacan'tseemto S-L-O-W I-T DOOOOOOWWWNNN!!!!!

But some good things and some updates for I think the maybe ten of you that read this...

1.I am at home this weekend... glad to have a little less stress. I went shopping with my mom today and I was SUPER thankful for all the new things she bought for me I wanted to cry. I got a new pair of jeans and a pleated skirt from Goodwill, a couple of new everyday naughties from Victoria's Secret, and two new shirts, two pairs of leggings and some socks from JC Penny's! And I got to spend some quality time with my mom which I really miss.

The things I still need to do at home are:
Make cupcakes for J-Drama tomorrow night
Finish my laundry
Make a care package
Work on my kanji journal
Research for my Japanese and maybe my Composition Paper (@o@)

2. Also while we were out today we bought some little things for my host sister Manami who is currently studying in Nevada right now. It's been a really hard term for her and I want to make her feel a little better so I got her some good Dove chocolates, a cute shirt with crowns and dots on it and a nice "thinking of you card" which I am about to write an note in Japanese in for her! I still hope she can come to visit me at Christmas break even if only for a few days but we will see.

3. Reagan has ventured to Myrtle Beach this weekend.... I will miss skyping him... unless he took his laptop which I doubt. He's supposed to be the "chaperone" while his buddies pick up girls... he doesn't like to do that or encourage their habits but there isn't really anything he can do so I feel bad cause he sorta has to sit out... but he says he doesn't mind because those girls are a dime a dozen... I on the other hand am not! :)

4. Which I also wanna thank Reagan from the bottom of my heart for putting up with my bad days... like Thursday night when I cried for literally an hour and told him all about my problems and how much I hate certain personality traits that cause me to spread myself too thin. He's such a wonderful man! I'm so glad to be in love with him!

5. I got paid Friday... yeah... so I made a payment on my glasses to my mom, and have the money for my dress (which I'm going to pick up on TUESDAY!!!) and for my credit card bill and I have half of my ticket money to paypal to ya Phen! (Sorry I had an expense that was larger then I was expecting)

6. I wanna thank Sydney for taking the exchange students to the airport!! I sooo owe you for it! Would you like IHOP or a manicure?????

PS: THE SHOE BLOG IS GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT TILL NOVEMBER... but you will get some SUPER exciting shoes that way!!! (The ball and a trip to Grand Cayman Island in the Carribbean!)

It's Been Awhile

2009-10-04T15:56:00.001-06:00

So it's been awhile since I've posted and this will be short and sweet.I went to Denver with the Japanese students yesterday! It was super fun but exhausting and only one of them bought a winter coat... but we will get ones for the rest!

1. I'm super worried about my finances. I just booked my tickets to see Reagan next month for the ball and here's what my bills are looking like.
Credit Card Bill: $81.00
Payment for my Ball Gown: $69.65
Alterations for my Ball Gown: $20.00 at least
Airline Tickets: $260.36
Remainder to pay for Glasses: $100.00
TXTING: $20.00
Dir en Grey Concert Tickets: $37... or was it $32.50... well its close to that
Reagan's Christmas Gift: $50-55.00
General Living Expenses: $50.00
FOR AN ESTIMATED GRAND TOTAL of $683.51YIKES!!!!! Because I only get roughly $236.00 every two weeks when I get paid. And currently there is about $115.00 in my bank account period. Needless to say I can't get out of the hole any time soon.

2. ALSO, I miss Reagan... and it upsets me a lot because I know I bother people by talking about him like ALL the time it seems like. But he's my number one man... so he's almost as important as my father.... but he's been really short with me lately I think because I've been so busy but the truth is one of the main reasons I'm working myself into exhaustion is because I miss him so badly that if I'm not busy I will just get depressed. And its sometimes worse when I Skype or talk to him on the phone. So its like I want to talk with him as much as possible but at the same time avoid him so I don't miss him so bitterly. But I haven't told him that because I'm already weak enough... Does that make sense? At least I get to see him next month....

3. Well school is really keeping me busy I'm finding it difficult to keep up at times... but I will just keep working till I get it...

4. I'm having some friend problems too... I just get sick of the way they treat me sometimes....Toodles...

2009-09-16T20:36:00.000-06:00

So my host sister from Japan when I was in high school was having a very bad day today and I gave her a call. Since she is now stateside... (Reno Nevada) and I didn't realize how much I missed her until now!

We talked about how she has had a persistant guy from high school keep saying he likes her and she doesn't like him and that was upsetting her, so I tried to give her some advice then she taught me a new word in Japanese! 　It's: 告白　（こくはく） It's like used for a declaration of love!! I was like cool!! And we talked so we both got to practice our language skills, even though I'm a bit intimidated to talk to her still I think speaking a little bit of Japanese at least made her feel more comfortable.

And I talked to her about going to Yamagata and she says "Oh! I can't understand their accent! SOOO strange!" I laughed. She also has picked up some bad words while here and its just barely been a month! So far she's got f***, bitch (which I taught her waay back when), asshole and her new word... cunt... I was like! OH! Don't say that!!!

Anyway it was so nice to talk to her and I hope that she can come stay with me at the end of the semester or something or I can afford to go see her before she goes back to Japan. But as for today I'm hoping I made her day a little less sad.

PS: She also called me slim!! She's soo nice and we joked about being fat from American food and needing to both eat more salads! There is a recent picture of her taken in Nevada!

Tossing and Turning

2009-09-14T20:19:00.000-06:00

Once again yesterday night was a bad night... a bad bad one. I had a wonderful time out with everyone (Danielle, Andrew, Daniel, Kaylee, Arlet) at J-drama night, but when I got back and I did some homework for my Composition class that was soo hard I wanted to cry I skyped Reagan and instead of talking to him and making us both happy I ended up sobbing via webcam and just making Reagan sit quietly because he couldn't do anything.

I hate doing that to him because I'm soo certain that when I cry he's worried he did something wrong... like the first time I cried in front of him and then when I was visiting in August I had a bit of a break down because of a little comment he made about my appearence ( the little mole on my left cheek) where I got soo self concious I actually hit his hand away and wouldn't let him touch me. I think it really freaks him out that I'm not totally 100% emotionally stable and he's not sure what to say or do... I just don't want him to start hating me for it, I'm trying to be a stronger person for him and for myself... I am!

But back to the point... I was soo upset last night because university is really wearing on me... between my finances, my job, my schoolwork and trying to be a better more confident person and the perfect girlfriend I'm just feeling like I'm falling seriously behind. I'm sliding down an muddy hill and its raining... It is scaring me. For instance I can't seem to grasp things in my composition class. Today in Japanese for the life of me I couldn't figure out what was going on and then my anxiety for this cultural project (which is a little at ease... the guys actually seem like they want to apply themselves... so it may work) and my composition paper due next week... among everything else I just broke under the weight last night.

Quite honestly I don't even know why I'm going to college for a degree, I mean I don't really want it. I love to learn and I love Japanese its soo interesting but all this extra work... and for what so I can teach for like three to five years and then become a housewife. That is what I WANT, I just want to make a perfect little home for my husband and my family and take pride in my sewing and in my ironing and my cleaning and my home and my cooking. That's all I want but I have to be realistic and it makes me so upset sometimes... its like... why should I even bother.... because my dream is no longer truely socially acceptable.

Truths In Ten!

2009-09-08T11:25:00.000-06:00

So MagnificantDebra posted a Ten True Things Meme... and I wanted to do it, however I am only going to tell positive things... I could use a little personal pick me up.

1. I will rarely admit it but I love wandering around in my giant sweatpants (they are an obscene purple color) and a ratty T-shirt... I call it loungewear chic.

2. I really do think its odd that people think I have a lovely smile... well in pictures, I just feel posed but I love to smile and when its candid I couldn't feel more beautiful!

3. I do soo much daydreaming that sometimes I convince myself that whatever I'm dreaming about will be around the next corner.

4. I am a hopeless romantic, I love roses, candlelight, ever lasting love and a white picket fence.

5. My greatest ambition is to one day become a wonderful wife and homemaker for man who I happen love more then anything...

6. I have a weakness for bunny rabbits... (and pandas) Especially mini lops! So cuute!!!

7. Strawberries are my absolute favorite food! I will sit and eat them all day and everyday if I could.

8. I love to bake and make desserts, they are just so delicious and decadent. I love it! So rewarding and no one can truely pass up dessert!

9. I can't wait until the day I can read Beatrix Potter's stories of Peter Rabbit to my child.

10. I have yet to tell this person this... but I am soo thankful that he has shown me that I can once again be getting comfortable in my own skin again, and that not wearing makeup all the time is perfectly okay, I'm still just as beautiful.

The Bad is Always Followed by the GOOD!

2009-08-28T16:24:00.000-06:00

So a few days ago I found out the Reagan is going to soon have to make a tough decision. Because of his minor medical condition the USMC wants to "medically retire" him... my impression they are cutting budgets and want to boot out everyone who MIGHT cost them extra money... how rude... but c'est la vie. However if he wants to stay in and his CO and some board or something deem him worthy then he can have a permenant desk job. So the pros and cons of this.

GETTING OUT:
PROS:
-He doesn't deploy!
-He would recieve a large amount in compensation and still get his benefits (GI Bill etc.)
-He could possibly be with me more, as a civilan.

CONS:
-He would have to go to school and I think be wasting time and money figuring out what he wants to do.
-He may not be happy with civilan life.
-He may not find a job.
-I'm not that confident I could fully support his decision...

STAYING IN:
PROs:
-He will continue to have a steady job and income.
-It will be easier for him to get promoted with a different MOS.
-He will be able to have a career and "retire" at 42... which is goal is 45... soo...
-I can fully support his decision without question, and I have confidence of his success.

CONS:
-He may not enjoy his new job as much as infantry.
-The Marines may decide he is again fit for deployment... and who knows what that means.

Regardless, Reagan and I don't have all the information needed to make an educated decision but I ultimately want it to be his decision and for him to do it for the right reasons.

OKAY NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS:

I Skyped with Reagan last night! It was so wonderful to see him even if we couldn't be right with each other. Its like a date... that we both can have in our PJs. I miss seeing him smile and laugh... or make fishy faces with me! Hopefully this will be a more regular occurence and I won't have to miss him soo much all the time!

Shove It Cinderella!

2009-08-17T23:29:00.000-06:00

Funny how things can turn over in a day and bitch slap you in the face.

It's around eleven at night and I should be sound asleep after having talked to Reagan... but no. I'm blogging again. My reason is because I'm angry, upset, depressed, confused and just plain miffed!So what's got my bloomers in a knot you ask? Well Mr. Marine himself of course!

Tonight he told me on good authority that the Marine Corps. Ball is to be held on November 14th this year. A Saturday! That's just fine and dandy... only problem I have class on Friday... and Monday so I would only be able to fly out and stay two nights at best. And because my father is a sort of stick in the mud there is no way I can skip out on classes and flit across the country to play princess for a night... so my trip has to begin AFTER class ends at 4pm... but the only flights I can make... well they cost over $300... at the cheapest. It makes me want to cry soo hard!!!

I don't think Reagan understands how much something like this ball means to me. Yes its selfish of me... but I am human. Its not just a dress up party to booze it up and eat cake. Its status, its important, its solidifying and its pride. It's status because it puts me on the map in his world in more then an informal setting with his buddies. It's important because well, it something I've always wanted to attend and you all should know how important things like balls are to us girls, I can't quite explain it. It solidifies... like a status, it says, yes I do exist I am the woman that supports him and am there to make him the best man that he can possibly be. And lastly its my pride. I almost hate to write about this but I think I should say it so eventually I can tell him... I tried explaining it and well I don't think he got the message.

So, my pride. I am not the most patriotic American out there, but when I decided to date Reagan I wasn't just dating him the wonderful man (though that is the vast majority) I am dating the MARINE. Everything they stand for honor, country, duty, responsiblity, courage, strength, leadership, stability... need I go on? Are all qualities that are VASTLY important to me when it comes to the men I want to be around. If there is one thing I can't stand its people without a mission... and without the Marines I worried that Reagan may just turn out to be one of those people. And I just can't deal with floundering... there has to be a plan. And its like he doesn't really have a clue on reality it seems about what to do after the Marines.... and I'm probably thinking WAAAY too far into the future here but I don't think that's something I could continue supporting... so I can support him now but shouldn't I be reasonable about it and not blow upwards of $500 on a fantastic weekend that won't probably bring me any benefit other then a feel good time?

Regardless, I'm frustrated with him and his lack of thought expression. If he's mad I wish he'd just say it... or if he has an opinon with regards to me or there is something he wants to say then he should just tell me straight up even if it hurts. I'm getting tired of hearing "Whatever Babe", "Nevermind babe." or my personal favorite "I don't care babe." GAH!! It's like "Don't you dare make me claw it out of you GODDAMMIT!"

And finally the last thing that's annoying me.... as usual is MONEY. So pretty much for the second part of my trip and all the while I've been back home Reagan is holding his $1000 credit card bill (most of which involves me) over my head. Which is exactly what I was afraid would happen after he insisted on covering the rooms. We could have gone dutch that's totally fine with me. And he wanted to eat out at nice places almost the whole time! Iwould have been fine with one lovely meal and PB&J with juice boxes for the rest... but no! I swear he wouldn't have that! And I didn't say anything because he seemed so adamit about taking me to various places and doing various things... I was afraid that finances were gonna bite me in the ass... and they are and I'd offered to help him with the bill all that I can but the answer to that is "No, babe, I'll manage... but GAWD you're expensive!" A vicious cycle....Okay... I think I'm done ranting now... at least for the moment.So Dov you can stop stalking your LJ and read, contemplate and comment.

To The Coast And Back

2009-08-17T15:30:00.000-06:00

My trip was absolutely wonderful, but there was so much to talk about that I don’t really know where to begin… so pretty much a synopsis of the highlights should be sufficient.
I arrived in Raleigh right on time (5:10pm EST) on Tuesday which was really nice. The flight was long and I couldn’t help but fidget for the last thirty minutes of the flight. The airport was surprisingly small so I didn’t have any trouble getting down to where Reagan was going to pick me up but the silly man was waiting in a different spot then he said so he snuck up behind me and I nearly bopped him in the nose when he hugged me from behind. We ended up then driving around town for nearly an hour to find somewhere to eat we ALWAYS seem to get lost when we are together… but we settled on Outback Steakhouse…. one bowl of clam chowder and a strawberry smoothie later…. I was nearly passed out in the passenger seat of his Honda SI… praying I wouldn’t ruin the upholstery. Sad but true. I felt bad because I had promised him I would be full of energy and there I was feeling ill. But he didn’t seem to mind too much. The hotel was absolutely wonderful! After the two hour drive it was wonderful to stay in the Presidential Suite…. which was a pleasant surprise to say the least and we both enjoyed it very much!

Wednesday and Thursday were pretty nice and easy… we laid in bed till mid morning then spent the day in town and on base. Which I don’t know why he complains so much, Camp Lejeune is actually a very lovely base, with all the old style brick architecture and landscaping and such. But I guess since he’s there all the time it’s a bore. Seeing his barracks was an interesting experience. It was much smaller and arranged very differently then I’d originally thought… and not as clean (lol) but well they are men after all. I got to try on or at least poke at his gear. The helmet was SUPER heavy and so were the flak and Kevlar vest… I don’t know how he wears it on those humps of his. It was also really nice to meet all the men he works with they were really nice (even if his roommates were probably a bit crude) but they were charming none the less. I still can’t stop myself from puffing up a little bit with pride when I think of Reagan as a Marine. He works soo hard and I’m soo proud of him, even if he isn’t!!!! Anyway, in the evenings Reagan and I went out for dinner and wrapped things up with a nice dinner in a restaurant in town and some bubble baths in the whirlpool in our room. I think bubble baths are probably my favorite times with him. Its just so perfect to relax in the warm water and talk to each other and the only things we have to worry about are the bubbles running low or the water getting cold. I most definitely miss those few hours sitting in the tub getting prune-y fingers with him, perhaps sometime we can have bubble baths every night….

Anyway we spend Friday through Sunday in Myrtle Beach. We got lost on the drive AGAIN… cause Reagan and his silly GPS just can’t work well together… but we eventually made it in one piece. It was nice to be near the ocean again it made the muggy North Carolina weather a little more bareable. We stayed at the Sheraton which was another lovely hotel. (We really caught some deals on hotels!) We managed to see a major portion of the sites. The Ripley’s attractions… like the mirror maze… I adored the aquarium! I love them soo much, such beautiful places… we shopped until I was sure Reagan was ready to throw me over the rail at the Boardwalk! We even had time to go to the beach, I got sand everywhere… as usual!

On Saturday night we celebrated our sixth month anniversary a little early (It won’t be until the end of the month though…). We had a lovely diner at the Hard Rock… despite Reagan’s constant complaints… but he was the one who said “I wanna take you to a nice dinner… you know just the two of us…” And he even opted for the location we could have eaten elsewhere… but anyway… back to the point. Dinner was really nice and he had a wonderful gift for me….A pink rose preserved in lacquer and 24 karat gold…. soo beautiful! I felt bad cause I only managed to wear one of his favorite styles of lingerie as a gift for him that night… but I guess it is the thought that counts.

My last day in North Carolina was too short and came all too quickly and from the moment I woke up in Reagan’s arms till the time I was at the airport I was fighting back tears, Reagan told me to stop sniffling… but it didn’t help that he had to remind me he would be heading to Bridgeport soon for what I guess you would call pre-deployment training… well either way the flight home was a long one .

So… that’s really all I can say… I’ve left some of the colorful portions out… so if you want to hear all the hilarity… give me a buzz… cause for some reason blogging in more detail about more isn’t making me any happier…

I hope to see him sooner... because its getting harder to say goodbye....

For Some Reason...

2009-08-13T18:03:00.001-06:00

I attempted to work on my North Carolina trip blog today but it just didn't happen... I wrote probably five sentences and just started crying.... I think I'm soo overly hormonal this month its gonna kill me.

Yes I will get around to it... sometime... but for some reason talking about it doesn't bother me it just makes me laugh and smile... maybe its because who ever I'm talking to is right there. So if you wanna know what I did and hear all about it. Call me, or we will have lunch sometime and it will be nice to visit and talk.

I just can work up to writing it... and gaah! I don't know why! Blogging normally makes me feel better.

I think I 'm going to take a nap before dinner... cause I'm just not in a happy mood right now...

Lookie What Came!

2009-08-12T17:43:00.000-06:00

While I was in North Carolina my BODYLINE order came in and my textbooks for my American Lit. class came as well!

I really like the BODYLINE skirt except for the bow which is actually offset so I'm taking it off and making a headbow! WOOT!
Also I have new glasses! YEAH!

PS: BIIIIG NORTH CAROLINA POST coming in the next day or two it makes me cry when I try to write about the wonderful time I had and how much I miss Reagan.... deployment is going to be miserable... but I'll think about that tomorrow....

PPS: Still waiting on the following packages-Kawaii Craving Order-Commissioned JD dress

OH NUU! I Did A Bad Thing!

2009-08-03T09:28:00.000-06:00

Yeah... not only did I order a lolita outfit... I ordered it from (dun dun dun dunnna!) BODYLINE... yes yes now before you all shoot me.... This is what I ordered.... it gets something off my wishlist....

I mean I guess it isn't too bad.... a bag and skirt for $58.... and I actually really like this print... I think I may take the bow off the front of the skirt if possible and make it into a headpiece.... what do you all think.... a whole outfit for under $60... I'm also looking at buying a simple white skirt... for like $30, its all white so I'm going to get a cute design to embroider on it... I was thinking a kitty or a bunny with some flowers... anyway but perhaps she will go down on the price or knock off the shipping.... we shall see.... cause its a cute skirt but I guess since I ordered this it might be good if I didn't buy it but we will see how low she goes.

So I also just ordered this! Now Phen and I can twin!!! WOOO!!! Total of $36 Shipping included!

PS: So I'm waiting on the following packages:

-Commissioned Jesus Diamante replica (yet to be shipped)

-BODYLINE Order

-Kawaii Craving Order

PPS: I saw Janora and Katie at Ren Fest on Saturday! Katie looks adorable in sweet by the WAY! And Janora I loved the "Peasent Lolita" It was really nice to see you! See ya at the tea!

My Life According To The Wallflowers

2009-07-31T17:24:00.000-06:00

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)" then tag someone to do it too.

Pick Your Artist:
The Wallflowers (Probably my favorite English singing band)

Are you a male or female:Angel on My Bike

Describe yourself:Nearly Beloved

How do you feel:I Wish I Felt Nothing

Describe where you currently live:Here In Pleasantville

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:The Beautiful Side of Somewhere… And I’ll, See You When I Get There

Your favorite form of transportation:Mourning Train
Your best friend was/is:Three Marlenas

You and your best friends are:Laughing Out Loud

What's the weather like:Letters from the Wasteland

Favourite time of day:All Things Are New Again

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:How Good It Can Get

What is life to you:Murder 101

Your relationship:Feels Like Summer Again

Your Fear:Too Late To Quit

What is the best advice you have to give:
Everybody Out of The Water

Thought for the Day:If You Never Got Sick...

How I would like to die:Up From Under

My soul's present condition:The Passenger

My motto:God Don’t Make Lonely Girls.

((This was actually a lot of fun to do! And check out The Wallflowers if you haven't. Bob Dylan's son Jakob sings lead... but not only that the music is just really good... or rather I really enjoy it. Lots of different images and emotions for me))

TAGGED: MagnificantDebra

Another Day Down!

2009-07-30T17:41:00.000-06:00

So I had a day out with my mom and sister today. I dressed casual hime today (puff sleeve chocolate sweater, skinny jeans, heels hairbow, and pearls) We did a lot of shopping... like at the grocery store.... and such. We went to the theater to see G-Force... it was "cute" but not really worth the $9 in 3D.

I also got my hair cut today... see above this picture actually looks a tad Stepford Wife, but I like the new do and it will tease up for hime SUPER well! The layers give it nice volume so I'm happy and I will give it a trial run after my trip to North Carolina. I did my makeup a little different I'm slowly working up to my full hime gyaru makeup potienal I don't want to scare myself... at least it's not manba makeup!

However despite a new do, (which usually makes me feel really happy) my mood is wearing... I suppose I'm just tired from a whole day out and ready to curl up with my Marine Bear, a movie or some Korean Drama and let the next four and a half days slip by... this time on Tuesday Reagan and I will be holding hands in the car on the way from Raleigh to Camp Lejeune... I can't wait!

Anywhos... I also bought some hair extensions at Sally's, well I bought the wefts and am sewing them to the clips myself probably tomorrow so you will get to see the extensions but no full hime updo just yet I think I will save that for after my trip to North Carolina... which I should probably be packing for.

SHH! Don't Tell Anyone!

2009-07-22T20:53:00.000-06:00

This is sorta inspired by MaginficantDebra and her secret posts... that and I got an email that reminded me of it.

Back in the day... like since 7th or 8th grade I wrote fanfiction... you know write stories about my favorite characters from my favorite shows doing things that they didn't do or wouldn't do in the show... I wrote like dozens of them (32 I think) with a few hundred reviews and more hits... the ones I think that were the most popular were the many that I wrote for the long running series JAG (which is still one of my favorite shows by the way... even though its over.). ANYWAY! So I got a review for a story today... here's the kicker... I wrote it roughly FIVE years ago... called 2ply JAG... and I just smiled that someone is still getting joy from them!

"littledemonpixie,
A new review/comment has been submitted to your story.
Story: 2ply JAG Chapter: 3.
HAHAHAHA PMSL. I was trying to tell my mum about this but couldnt because Iwas laughing so much,LMFAO My mum loves JAG, she got me into it. HILARIOUS. I usually just readthe romance ones, but this omg hahahhahahaYou did good. I couldnt breathe with the unscrewing of the admiral's chair.PMSFL! ROFL. Welldone on this, really. I always struggle to write comedy, but this was fantastic!!!"

So it made me smile long story short... and if you'd like to read what my mind cooked up... despite its perhaps poor writing style... here's my FF.net profile. I haven't written ANYTHING in forever... but perhaps if I start watching something that inspires me I may take it up again... I have a new series of Fullmetal Alchemist to watch soo we will see...

http://www.fanfiction.net/~littledemonpixie

Anyway that's all for now!